Until the Stars Fade
by R. Constance
Summary: The only thing distracting Republic scout Penn Thayer from the strange dreams he's been having as of late is his growing attraction to a snarky yet attractive Jedi. Loosely follows the storyline of KOTOR but focuses on Revan/Bastila's relationship and introduces new characters. Ties into "Last Hope".
1. Chapter 1 - The Prize

The suspense was killing him.

"Come on, come on," he muttered softly, keeping his eyes locked upon the leader board pole. After what seemed like an eternity, his name and time flashed at the top of the pole. 'Penn Thayer, Hidden Beks - 32.2s'.

Unable to control his excitement, Penn pumped his fist in victory. Despite having never touched a swoop bike in his life, he had completed a near perfect race. Throughout the race, he felt as if something was pulsing through him, guiding his hands as he steered the bike, but he shrugged it off as beginner's luck. What else could it be?

Penn jumped out of the bike and onto the platform. "That makes two," he smirked at Brejik in defiance. Brejik clenched his fists in anger - as leader of the Black Vulkars, one of Taris' most feared gangs, he wasn't used to being disrespected, especially by some Hidden Bek stand-in swoop racer.

"Now, about my winnings," Penn turned to the race announcer, leaning against the circular counter. Behind the announcer was a pile of goods ranging from modified weapons and armor, to swoop bike parts and stacks of credits, but that wasn't what Penn was after. Just behind the heap of material goods was a cage that held the true prize. Bastila Shan.

As the race announcer began to tally his winnings, Penn took advantage of the moment to take a look at brunette chained by the neck in the small cage. Penn wondered if the Black Vulkars had taken this precaution because they learned of her true identity as a Jedi.

The outfit the Vulkars had forced her to wear displayed all of her assets - she was petite yet curvy in all the right places. As he admired her, a Black Vulkar lackey began pawing at her through the bars of the cage. Instinctively, Penn reached for his vibroblade to defend her, but quickly saw the woman could fend for herself when she spit in the Vulkar's face, an act that made Penn laugh. "Looks like you've got an edge to you," he whispered to himself.

His admiration of Bastila was quickly cut off by Brejik's voice. "He cheated!" the crime lord yelled. Penn spun around and bounded toward Brejik with narrowed eyes. "He cheated and the Black Vulkars don't deal with cheats. We're pulling our prize from the lot."

If any of the other competitors had wailed about him cheating, Penn wouldn't have cared, but this was different. The whole reason he had risked his life in the swoop race was to rescue Bastila from the gang by winning her - he refused to leave without her. "You know damn well I won without cheating, Brejik. I'll be taking my winnings, _including_ the girl," Penn hissed as he inched closer to Brejik, keeping his hand on the hilt of his vibroblade.

The moment of tension was interrupted by the sound of plasteel slamming onto the durocrete floors. Penn turned around to see the source of the disturbance - Bastila had broken free of her chains and the cage's door had fallen to the ground. Before the Vulkar guard could react, Bastila choked him with the Force and snatched his rusted sword from his dirty hands.

As Bastila began moving throughout the room striking down all of the Vulkars on the premise, Penn turned his attention to Brejik. He pulled out his vibroblade and began dueling with the gang's leader as she handled the rest. Their battle lasted several minutes. Finally, as Bastila began running toward Brejik, Penn sliced the gangster's neck.

Expecting Bastila to stop rushing at him brandishing her sword, Penn eased up for a moment. Instead, she kept charging, a ferocity burning in her large grey eyes. Realizing she was getting ready to swing her sword at him, he raised his vibroblade in defense.

A loud clanging noise echoed in the room as their blades met. Bastila was quite close to his face, staring him down over their criss crossed blades.

Penn looked into Bastila's eyes. Something about them seemed so familiar... "Have we-have we met before?" he asked.

Bastila's face softened slightly before forming into a smirk. "Was that your attempt at seduction?" she asked, still keeping her blade firmly against his. Penn found her voice incredibly attractive but ignored it for the time being - after all, she did just try to kill him.

"You think I'm hitting on you?" Penn raised his eyebrows in surprise, pushing the blades closer to her. "So you think I find you attractive?"

"Yes," Bastila answered before wrinkling her nose. "I mean, no. Just-just-just get out of here," she sighed as she lowered her sword.

As she began to walk away, Penn called out as he slid his vibroblade into its sheath. "Actually, you're coming with me, Bastila. I did just win you after all."

Snorting as she turned, Bastila bounded toward Penn. "You honestly think I'm just some prize? You have much to learn," she sneered as she looked him up and down.

"I actually came here to rescue you, babe," Penn crossed his arms over his chest. "I was sent by -"

"_Rescue me_?" Bastila interrupted in disbelief. "You call _this_ a rescue mission?" she laughed. "I was doing just fine without you. I had the whole thing figured out. I was about to make my escape when you walked in, demanding your -"

Her tirade was cut short by Penn's finger pressed against her full lips. "Are you finished? Because I wasn't quite done explaining myself." After a moment, he removed his finger from an incensed Bastila's lips - she remained silent, waiting for his explanation. "What I was _trying_ to say was that I was sent by Carth Onasi." Bastila's eyes lit up at the mention of his name. "But of course, if you've got it all figured out, I can just leave."

Mentally counting down how long it would take for her to stop him, Penn began walking away when Bastila called out. "Carth Onasi?" He turned and nodded. "Will you take me to see him?" Penn nodded once more as he extended his hand to Bastila. Instead of taking it as he had hoped, Bastila walked past it. "Lead the way," she called over her shoulder.

"_You're going to be a handful_," he muttered beneath his breath, shaking his head in annoyance as he began jogging to catch up with the Jedi.

oo-oo

By the time the two walked back to the apartment Penn and his small group had been using as a base of operation, night had fallen upon Taris. As he reached for the security lock Mission, a young Twi'lek girl who had joined their team, had rigged, he looked to Bastila.

"Everyone in there is probably asleep by now, so you'll have to wait until morning to talk to Carth," Penn spoke softly before he turned to focus on the lock.

"I'll speak with him now," Bastila insisted. Penn stopped working the lock to look at her. In the dim light of the apartment's causeway, he could see the light reflecting off her large grey eyes, mentally admitting that he found her somewhat attractive. He quickly recovered from the moment of weakness, promising himself he'd never admit that to the pompous Jedi.

"Look, Bastila, this whole 'rescue the Jedi mission' has taken up quite a bit of our time and resources. Not sure if you noticed, but I almost got myself killed in a swoop race today. The _least_ you can do is let everyone get a good night's rest." Penn turned back to the lock, satisfied he had put the Jedi in her place, when Bastila grabbed his arm, turning him to look at her.

"I know you," she said softly. "You were on the Endar Spire."

Penn nodded. "How do you think I met Carth?"

"So you serve the Republic?" Bastila asked.

"Well, that's where things get a bit sketchy for me," Penn said softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I think I must've hit my head on the escape pod or something, because I can't quite remember." Bastila looked at him with an expression he couldn't quite read, so he moved on. "Anyways, not like it matters. The important thing is that we found you. By the way, I don't think I ever introduced myself. I'm Penn Thayer." He extended his hand to Bastila, but she ignored it.

Snorting at her rude behavior, he turned once again to work the lock, a light click informing him he had succeeded in opening the door. Matters of security came naturally to him. Bastila moved to push the door open, but was blocked by Penn's long arm. "One last thing," Penn said quietly, not to wake the others just behind the door. "There are only two beds left. One by the door, the other three beds over. I'll take the one by the door." Nodding she understood, the two tip toed into the room.

Penn began stripping away his shirt to climb into bed when he felt a small hand touch his back before pulling away quickly. "Why aren't you clothed?" Bastila quietly hissed.

"Calm down, babe. It's just my shirt. And I'm getting ready for bed - I didn't think you were going to try to feeling me up," he whispered in an annoyed tone.

"I thought you said there would be a bed I could use. And stop calling me babe."

Penn craned his neck to where an available bed should have been, sighing when he saw the problem. Zaalbar, Mission's wookiee friend, had laid his massive body across his bed and the one he had promised Bastila. Quickly scanning the dark room, he saw no more available beds. Only his.

"Take mine," he conceded. Penn may not have liked Bastila, but still had manners.

"I'm not sharing that tiny bed with you," Bastila crossed her arms.

"And I wasn't asking you to, princess," he crossed his arms in return. "I'm offering you the bed. As in I'll sleep on the floor."

As he moved to sit on the floor between where she would sleep and where Carth already lay, Bastila grabbed his arm. "Don't call me princess."

"Babe, princess, it doesn't matter, just go to bed," he pleaded as he freed himself from her grip and lowered himself to the floor. Penn closed his eyes and began to drift into sleep when he felt a foot poking at his leg. "What?" he groaned, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"I need something to sleep in," Bastila whispered.

With a sigh, Penn sat up, looking around for something suitable for her to wear. Nothing. He reached behind him and picked up his balled up shirt he had planned to use as a pillow. "Here, take this," he offered.

Bastila unraveled the bunch and frowned. "Your shirt?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes," Penn pinched the bridge of his long, chiseled nose in frustration. "Unless of course you'd like to sleep in the _nude_, which would make for all sorts of interesting conversation in the morning. _Your call_."

"Fine," she huffed. "Don't look."

"Wasn't planning on it," Penn laid down and turned on his side. His attempts at sleep were interrupted by the sound of Bastila struggling to get out of her Black Vulkar issued ensemble. Opening one eye, he could see her wiggling, fighting to break free of the impossibly tight outfit. Not wanting her to wake everyone, Penn rose from the floor. "I can help."

"I don't _need_ your help," she turned in anger.

"Fine," Penn shrugged. "Struggle for the rest of the night. I'd be quiet if I were you though - I've heard wookiees aren't exactly pleasant if you wake them from a deep sleep."

The two frowned at each other for several moments before Bastila sighed. "Fine," she rolled her eyes as she turned her back to him. "But don't look," she commanded as she lifted her arms above her head.

Penn struggled with the top, trying to pull it over her head to no avail. After several minutes of little to no progress, Penn knew he had to try a different strategy. Pulling a dagger out of his pocket, he moved his lips close to Bastila's ear. "Don't move," he whispered. With great care, he slid the dagger beneath a strap he concluded was holding the top so tightly against her skin. With an upward motion, he sliced it.

The top slipped off Bastila before she could hold it in place. She gasped as she covered her breasts with her arm. "I told you not to look," she whispered as loudly as she could, searching for the top along the floor. In the light streaming through the window, Penn could see her toned back. It was smooth and blemish free. Before he could move his eyes any further, Bastila quickly rose and slapped him across the face. "_You're looking_," she hissed.

"Not like there's much to see," he quipped. Seeing her expression change, Penn readied himself for another slap. Sensing her free hand moving toward his face once more, he stopped it, grabbing her wrist just inches from his cheek. "Go to bed," he commanded softly before releasing her wiggling wrist and sitting back down on the floor.

With a grunt of frustration, Bastila finally succeeded in stripping away the tight pants. She fumbled in the dark for a few moments trying to find Penn's shirt, before she slipped it on and laid down on the bed. "Do you _have_ to lay there?" she complained, inching her face to the edge of the bed nearest Penn.

Having had enough frustration for one evening, Penn quickly rolled his body to face her. "Look, I-" He stopped short of giving her a piece of his mind when he saw the close proximity of their faces - the two were inches from each other, looking directly into the other's eyes.

Both gazed at the other, searching for some sort of explanation for the unexplainable heat between the them. Wanting to be free of the moment, Penn shook his head and quickly laid back down, turning his back to Bastila. "I'm laying here and I'm not moving."

"Fine," Bastila sighed as she rolled so her back would face Penn.


	2. Chapter 2 - Moan

Lights blinked, sirens sounded and the heat of the fire blazing behind him made sweat pour down his back. A jolt of the floor caused him to lose his footing for a moment - he quickly realized he was on a ship that was under siege. Looking down, he saw a red lightsaber in his gloved hand.

"You cannot win, Revan," a familiar voice yelled. Shifting his gaze, he saw Bastila Shan running toward him, a yellow double-bladed lightsaber in hand. Before he could stop himself, he swung his blade at her, a move she had anticipated. As the two dueled, he saw a fast approaching blaster bolt closing in from the corner of his eye before into crashed into the window, sending both he and Bastila to their backs. Then, everything faded to black...

Gasping for air, Penn sat straight up, beads of sweat covering his body. After wiping his hands on his face, he looked around. He was still on the floor in the small apartment, just as he had been when he fell asleep. The sound of Carth snoring softly a few feet away was strangely calming.

Turning to the opposite side, Penn saw Bastila's lean leg poking out from beneath the covers, slipping off the edge of the bed. She was shivering. He snorted before laying back down, rolling his back to Bastila and closing his eyes. Several minutes passed. Penn tried to sleep, but kept remembering Bastila shaking from the frigid apartment air. Since there was no power in the abandoned apartment, it tended to get rather cold at night.

Rolling flat onto his back, Penn opened his eyes and glanced at the still-shivering Bastila. He sighed before pushing himself into a kneeling position. Quickly closing the small distance between the two by walking on his knees, Penn gently lifted Bastila's leg, positioning it back on the bed, before pulling the blankets up her body.

As she lay peacefully, Penn took the opportunity to look at her heart shaped face. It was quite feminine and beautiful. All of her features were angular - her dainty nose and high cheekbones offset her large eyes and pillowy lips perfectly. Her neck was long and smooth. A bit of hair slipped onto Bastila's face. Still asleep, she wrinkled her nose, trying to remove the rogue lock.

Finding the whole thing adorable, Penn watched her for a moment before brushing the strands off her face. "Goodnight," he whispered before laying back down. As he struggled to find a comfortable position on the cold floor, he heard soft moaning from Bastila.

He lightly chuckled until she began talking in her sleep. "_Penn_," she moaned softly. Hearing his name being called in his sleep, especially in such a manner, he quickly stopped laughing and felt a heat rise in his cheeks. Looking at her once more to ensure she was asleep, he lowered his head and closed his eyes.

oo-oo

What felt like a few minutes later had actually been several hours. Feeling as if he was being watched, Penn opened his eyes to see Mission staring at him from her bed across the way. "That's really cute," she whispered, motioning to his hand.

Penn followed Mission's eyes - Bastila's arm was hanging over the bed, her hand resting in his. Sometime in the night, they had grasped each other's hands and hadn't let go. Slightly embarrassed, Penn slowly pulled his hand away, being sure not to wake the Jedi. "Would you mind not mentioning that to anyone?" he asked the Twi'lek teen.

"Sure thing," she nodded. "But I think you should say something. You two'd be cute together," she smiled. In spite of her tough upbringing and her orphan status, Mission was a positive girl and saw the good in everything - she always wanted everyone to be happy.

"_No_, definitely not," Penn laughed nervously. "Not my type," he lied. Wanting to get out of the awkward conversation, he stood up and walked to the refresher as Mission turned to fix her bed.

Once inside the refresher, he splashed water on his face before looking in the mirror. Small bags that hadn't been there the day before lined just beneath his light brown eyes. Picking up a razor, he ran his free hand along his widow's peak hairline before moving down his face to his high cheekbones and chiseled jawline. Despite the blanket of stubble sprouting on the lower half of his face, Penn put the razor down - he didn't feel like shaving his long face. He touched the small scar on his lips, wondering for the thousandth time how he earned the mark.

"Give me a minute," Penn called out after hearing a knock at the door. He rinsed his face once more before pulling his dark, nearly shoulder length hair into a small loose knot behind his head before opening the door of the refresher.

Mission was waiting on the other side. "Man," she exclaimed. "I hadn't really noticed, but you're really in shape. Kinda funny because you look like you're just a tall skinny guy when you're just wearing your clothes, you know, no muscle at all. Wouldn't have expected some Republic scout to be like this. I guess first impressions can really be off, huh Big Z?" she looked over her shoulder to the wookiee who grunted agreement.

Suddenly self-conscious, Penn tried to shield his body from the teenager's eyes. Broad shoulders gave way to his long, lean torso. Although the outline of his top ribs were faintly visible on either side, he was covered in muscle that formed into a sharp v, disappearing beneath his pant line. Squeezing past her, he edged back into the main room of the apartment where Bastila and Carth were arguing.

Penn stood in silence as the two bickered. Finally, when he had heard enough, he rested his hands on his hips and cleared his throat loudly - the two stopped arguing for a moment to look at him.

"You know, for as much as you two wanted to talk to each other, I would've thought you'd get along a little better than this." The comment received two distinctly different reactions - Carth narrowed his brown eyes and looked directly into Penn's. Bastila's wide eyes nervously shifted back and forth between his eyes and his body.

"_Bastila_ here doesn't seem to approve of how we've handled the situation thus far. Thinks she can do a better job," Carth complained.

"And that's why I was _trying_ to explain to Carth that I will be taking over as commander of this operation for the duration of its existence," Bastila said coolly. Immediately the two began arguing once more.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Penn yelled, waving his hands to get their attention. "Both of you, stop. Fighting isn't going to get us off this planet. We're all equal here, got it?" After a moment of hesitation, Bastila and Carth both nodded slowly. "Alright, now that we've got that settled, does anyone have any ideas on how we can get off Taris?" Since their crash landing, the planet had been in a state of emergency - no one was allowed on or off the planet.

"Perhaps we could ask the locals if they know anything?" Bastila offered. "We might try the cantina."

As the mediator of the situation, Penn looked to Carth who reluctantly nodded. "That sounds like as good a place to start as any."

"Then it's settled," Penn said softly. "Let's get ready." Neither Bastila nor Carth moved - both were already dressed. Carth wore a bright orange jacket and muted green pants. Somehow, Bastila had managed to find a tan and brown curve hugging outfit. Clearing his throat, Penn looked to Bastila. "Do you-ah, do you have my shirt?"

Carth cocked an eyebrow in Penn's direction, but he chose to ignore it, focusing on Bastila. With a pinkish hue rapidly rising to her cheeks, Bastila motioned to her unmade bed. Nodding his head, he brushed past the two and walked to the bed, quickly slipping on the shirt before securing his vibroblade and blaster to his holster. As Carth secured his personalized blasters to his Republic issue holster, Bastila walked to Penn.

"Something's wrong. What happened to you?" she asked, genuine concern in her voice.

"Nothing," Penn assured her. "I just had a weird dream is all. You were actually in it."

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you," Bastila frowned. "This is hardly the time for innuendos."

"_I_ was actually having a dream, well, more of a vision, about you fighting Revan, but for some reason, I was controlling the movements. Well, sometimes. At some points, it was an out of body experience. I don't know. It didn't really make sense. Care to share what _your_ dream was about, babe?" he asked, cocking his thin dark eyebrow at her.

"That-that's hardly the relevant to the situation," Bastila stammered, ignoring the fact he called her babe against her wishes. "Perhaps in the skirmish against the Vulkars, we formed a bond that enabled you to see some of my more intense memories. That's a sign of Force sensitivity," her voice trailed.

"That's not the first time it's happened. I've had dreams like that bef-" he paused for a moment, digesting what the Jedi said. "Hold on, you think I might be Force sensitive?"

"Possibly," Bastila nodded. "But that's something for the Council to sort out. We should focus on the task at hand. Once we escape Taris, we can head to Dantooine for further answers."

The two stared at each other for a few moments, neither saying a word, until Carth cleared his throat. "You two ready to go?"

"Yep," Penn nodded as he walked out the door with Carth and Bastila.


	3. Chapter 3 - Fight

The Upper City Cantina was overcrowded. With all the restrictions trapping countless people on the planet, many lonely pilots and bored merchants spent their days drinking to pass the time, hoping to find someone just as desperate as they were to spend the night with.

As Carth, Bastila and Penn scooted through the hoards of people, they were separated. Penn knew Carth could fend for himself - though he came across as somewhat needy, the Republic pilot had lived life and was street smart. Bastila on the other hand, was a different story. Having had spent the majority of her life studying ancient Jedi texts in the solitude of Dantooine, Penn suspected she knew little about how to act in a cantina.

Spying an abandoned barstool, Penn made his way through the crowd and stood on it, hoping to gain a better vantage point. Quickly scanning the smokey cantina, he saw a brunette woman with a somewhat ridiculous hairstyle moving through the crowd, followed closely by an incredibly large man. Even from here, Penn could see the lust in his eyes. Sensing trouble, he jumped off the stool and rushed in the direction of Bastila.

After receiving countless elbow jabs and ignoring an attractive woman who wanted to speak with him, Penn found Bastila.

"Babe," he smiled wide as he drew her in for a hug, keeping an eye on the man quickly approaching her from behind. "Trouble behind you," he whispered. "Let me talk." Raising his voice back to a normal volume, Penn began speaking once more. "It's time we got out of here, babe. Let's go home." Before she could protest, Penn grabbed Bastila's hand and attempted to pull her through the crowd when he felt a large hand grasp his shoulder. He didn't need to turn around to know who the hand belonged to.

"I ain't done talking to her," the man barked.

Before he turned, Penn glanced around the area - he noticed several well-armed men watching their confrontation. Hoping to avoid an altercation for the safety of patrons in the cantina, Penn slowly turned and smiled warmly at the man. "I'm sorry, do you mean her?" he motioned to Bastila.

"I already _told_ you I have no interest in speaking with you," Bastila hissed at the man, earning her a glance of frustration from Penn.

"Look," Penn began. "You look like a reasonable guy, Mister..."

"Viktor," the man spat.

"Viktor," Penn completed his previous thought. "My girlfriend here isn't too good in crowds - she gets a little nervous, especially when she hasn't been taking her meds. Let me buy you a juma to smooth this whole thing over."

Viktor looked back and forth between Penn and Bastila, chomping down on an old grenade pin between his teeth. "Kiss her," he motioned to Bastila. Penn's smile faded. Bastila's face went pale. Neither moved. "I don't believe for one second that you two are together," Viktor poked Penn's chest with his massive finger. "I'm being played. Kiss her."

Glancing at Bastila through the corner of his eye, Penn turned and leaned into her, brushing his lips along hers. It barely counted as a kiss, but he felt it would pass. "We'll just be on our way," he smiled. "Nice meeting you, Viktor." As Penn turned to leave, Viktor spun him around, punching his right eye.

Instead of retaliating, Penn merely smiled, gripped a shocked Bastila's hand a little tighter and turned to leave once more. Looking to land another blow on Penn, Viktor grabbed his shoulder, but this time, Penn was ready. When the man spun him around, Penn caught the man's large fist in his palm, gripping it firmly. Viktor's hand began to shake under the pressure of Penn's strong grip. "We'll be leaving now," Penn said with authority before releasing Viktor's fist.

Before Penn could turn, three of the men he noticed before approached him, grabbing his arms and pulling Bastila away from him. Her kicks and screams earned her a vicious slap across the face from her captor. "This is what you get when you disrespect Davik's top man," Viktor grunted as he swung his massive fist into Penn's stomach, flashing a sinister grin as he pulled away.

"Is that all you've got?" Penn asked, looking directly into Viktor's eyes in defiance. A few women nearby heard Penn's insult, giggled and began chattering about how attractive Penn was.

Embarrassed by the women's laughter, Viktor punched him once more as Bastila yelped in horror. As Viktor moved in for a third blow, Penn kicked his leg into the man's stomach with blinding speeds, knocking him into the crowd. Bystanders accidentally spilled their drinks on the large man, angering him further. As Viktor growled and rushed for Penn, a grey haired man stepped between them.

"You need your lackeys to help you in a bar fight over a girl, Viktor?" the man berated Viktor. "That's pathetic."

"Step out of the way, Ordo," Viktor grunted.

Instead of replying with words, Ordo whipped the butt of his blaster rifle at Viktor's face, instantaneously drawing blood from a clearly broken nose. Tears welled in Viktor's eyes. "You cry like a little schutta," the grey haired man laughed. "That's why you'll _never_ be Davik's top man. Now get out of here. All of you."

Seconds later, the men restraining Penn and Bastila released them, quickly scurrying out of sight. Instinctively, Bastila rushed to Penn, grasping his face in her hands. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he waved her off, surprised at her display of concern. "Thanks," he nodded to the grey haired man standing before him. The man was tall and bulky, displaying his arms' muscles in a black cut off shirt and red vest. Loose fitting tan pants and worn boots completed his ensemble. A deep scar marked just above the man's eye, disappearing into his grey crew cut hair. His face was harsh, angular and entirely intimidating, yet for some reason, Penn felt no fear.

"I've been looking all over for you," the man started. "I'm Canderous Ordo and you're going to work with me."

"Penn Thayer," he extended his hand to shake Canderous'. "And why would I want to work with you?"

"Because I have a way to get you and your little princess off this planet," he smiled gruffly.

"_Little princess_?" Bastila snorted in disgust. "I'll have you know that I -"

"What are you proposing?" Penn interrupted. Before Canderous could answer, Carth approached the three.

"Who's he?" Canderous barked.

"A friend," Penn answered. "You were saying?"

"I'm Davik's top man. In case you didn't know, Davik is the top Exchange boss on Taris. He's got a ship I know is fast enough to outrun the Sith fleets that are holding everyone hostage on this damn planet. Since I can get you into Davik's estate, I say we all escape together"

In Penn's experience, things that seemed too simple or too good to be true usually were. "What's the catch, Canderous?"

"The only hang up is that I don't have any of the launch codes. They're in the Sith base. I'm too well known around here, but an outsider could sneak in without a problem. That's where you come in."

"Why me?" Penn asked suspiciously.

"I saw what you did in that swoop race," he answered. "You cleaned the floor with those bastards. _And_ I heard a rumor that you're the new reigning champion of the Duel Ring," he smiled.

"And what if I am?" Penn crossed his arms. Earlier in the week, he had defeated a litany of opponents in the illegal fighting ring to earn much-needed credits and gain information as to Bastila's whereabouts.

"Then that only helps our cause. Once you get the codes, I'll take you to Davik, saying you're a new recruit. After he hears you're a Duel Ring champion, he'll welcome you with open arms. That is, before we rob him of his pride and joy. Whaddya say?"

Penn looked to Bastila and Carth, both of whom were desperately trying to read Canderous. "I don't like the idea of working with this man," Bastila sighed. "But, I feel he's trustworthy."

"And he's the only lead we've got," Carth chimed in.

"You've got yourself a deal, Canderous," Penn shook Ordo's hand firmly. "We'll meet you here at this time tomorrow with the codes."

"Looking forward to it," Canderous nodded as he flashed a wicked half smile and disappeared into the crowd.

oo-oo

Back at the apartment, Penn, Carth and Bastila drafted a plan to infiltrate the Sith base. Canderous sent the group a message via com-link informing them he placed a droid on hold at a local salvage shop. It was a T3 unit equipped with the tools needed to break into the Sith base.

"Well, now that the droid is going, that leaves two spots available," Carth noted. The group had already decided that the mission needed to stay small - three party members at the most.

"I'll go," Penn offered. Carth nodded and began to open his mouth before Bastila spoke.

"I'll go as well." The two men looked at her in surprise. "My Jedi training and battle meditation may be of service against the Sith."

Accepting her explanation, Penn nodded. "We'll leave at sundown." Without another word, he stood up and walked to the refresher to deal with the welt on his eye. Looking into the tiny mirror above the sink, Penn could see the wound was worse than he originally thought. Poking it gently with his fingers, he winced in pain.

"Let me," a small voice called from behind. He turned around to see Bastila step into the refresher, closing the door behind her.

Penn pulled out a small stool from beneath the cupboards, placed it in the center of the room and sat on it. For the first time, he shorter than the petite Jedi. As Bastila touched the wound with her slender fingers, Penn grimaced. "Sorry," she whispered before pursing her lips and leaning close to his face to blow on the welt. Her cool breath was soothing. "This may feel strange, but bear with me," Bastila said softly.

Laying her fingers on top of his wound, she closed her eyes. A faint blue glow radiated beneath her fingertips and seeped into his skin. Within seconds, the sting of the wound wore off and the welt began to shrink, leaving nothing but a black eye.

"Thanks," Penn motioned to his eye. Bastila nodded, but stayed near him.

"About what happened in the cantina," she said softly.

"I know, I know," he started. "I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again."

"That's not what I was going to say," Bastila shot back, raising her voice slightly. "Sorry," she apologized immediately, realizing her harsh tone. "I actually wanted to thank you for standing up for me."

Penn couldn't help the look of shock that crossed his face as Bastila continued on. "Not many people would've done that for me. Especially after the way I've treated you since we met. I suppose I should thank you for rescuing me from the Vulkars as well... _And_ giving me your bed... _And_ your shirt."

Evidenced by the pained look on her face, Penn could tell Bastila didn't apologize often. "Not a problem, babe."

As soon as the words left his lips, Bastila's expression changed. "Must you call me 'babe'?" she shrieked. "It's positively infuriating. I'm not some-some _bimbo_ you can create silly pet names for. If it's part of some twisted little seduction scheme of yours, I can tell you right now it's not going to work."

"Oh for crying out loud," Penn lifted his arms in frustration. "I make up nicknames for everyone. Sweetie, honey, _bone head_. Don't flatter yourself, _babe_," he barked, being sure to place emphasis on the nickname she claimed to hate.

"So you think I'm full of myself now, is that it?" Bastila hissed as she moved her face closer to his in anger. "Let me tell you that I'm not conceited at all. I am a Jedi. I don't have time for vanity. I'm too busy defending the likes of _you_. Although now I wonder why I care at all."

"The likes of _me_?" Penn questioned as he stood from the stool. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what you think it means," she snorted, poking him in the chest with surprising force. "Unless of course you'd like me to spell it out for you? I'd hate for you to disturb the few brain cells in your possession."

"So now you're calling me stupid because I didn't train as a Jedi?" Penn laughed in frustration as he closed the bit of distance between he and Bastila. "I'm sorry I didn't lead a sheltered life on Dantooine like you did. I was too busy having a little thing called a _life_."

"You think I'm sheltered? I'll have you know that -"

"You wouldn't last two _seconds_ in the real world, babe," Penn interrupted. "The fact that you were captured by a couple of swoop gang lackeys after just a few minutes of being on your own proves my point. You're lucky I found your precious lightsaber, otherwise you'd be screwed."

As Bastila opened her mouth to fight back, Mission opened the refresher door. "No!" Bastila and Penn yelled in unison before turning their fierce gaze back to each other.

"_Sheesh_," Mission's eyes widened. "You two need to pump the brakes. Make out for a bit or something," she said as she closed the door.

The teenager's suggestion for the two to kiss created an awkwardness where there had been anger seconds before. Penn now realized just how close he and Bastila were. As he looked down into her grey eyes, a knot formed in his stomach.

"Thanks again for this," he said softly, motioning to his eye.

"You're welcome," Bastila nodded. "Glad I could be of service." The two stood near each other in silence for a few moments longer before Bastila cleared her throat. "Well, I'll leave you to care for your eye," she smiled weakly before turning to leave the refresher.

Penn looked into the mirror. It written all over his face - he was falling for the snarky Jedi. "Dammit," he muttered before following her out of the refresher.


	4. Chapter 4 - Staring

That night, Penn, Bastila and their newly acquired droid, T3-M4, broke into the Sith base and stole the codes. It was the first time Penn had a chance to see Bastila in action with a lightsaber - he couldn't deny the fact that she was absolutely incredible with her sophisticated double-blade.

The next day, he, Bastila and Carth went back to the cantina to meet Canderous, who was already waiting for them, sitting in a small booth with a box in hand.

"Heard about a break in at the Sith base last night. You wouldn't have anything to do with that, would you now?" Canderous asked through gruff laughter.

"Of course not," Penn smirked. "So when do we leave for Davik's?"

"Right now," he answered as he stood from his seat. "Oh, one more thing. Only you two can go," he motioned to Penn and Bastila. "I told Davik about you and he's eager to meet you. He said you could bring a guest to keep you good and sexed up. I didn't think you'd want to bring along Mr. Orange Jacket here, so I told him you'd be bringing a cute little brunette. That means you, princess."

"You think that I'm just some _play thing_ only useful for sex?" Bastila barked at Canderous. "I should -"

"That's perfect," Penn interrupted. "Carth, we'll send word when we've got the ship."

"You got it," Carth nodded before walking into the hoards of people.

"Before we go, one last thing," Canderous started. "You've both gotta look the part. You're a little on the thin side, but look tough enough, so we'll just plop you in some armor to complete the package Davik is expecting. _You_, on the other hand, need to work on your image. Here," he handed Bastila the box. "That's what all the girls at Davik's wear, so you'll wear it too. And you'll need to keep your mouth shut. You talk too much."

Bastila was fuming, but held her tongue. "Good," Canderous smiled. "You're halfway there. Now go on and change into that outfit. Meet us out by my speeder. We'll be grabbing your boyfriend here some armor."

Cursing beneath her breath, Bastila walked to the refresher, box in hand. Canderous led Penn outside where he handed him armor. It was a gaudy mix of tan, royal blue and crimson, very unlike anything he would wear, but didn't complain as he slipped into the armor. The armor's stretchy material and clung to his body, showcasing every muscle - he was uncomfortable, but counted his good fortune when he saw what Bastila was being forced to wear.

Sandals with straps extending to her knees covered her feet. A bikini top and bottom that appeared to be made of copper-colored plasteel covered her assets. Two long flaps of sheer material provided a little more coverage to her lower half. Several small chains draped across her smooth abdomen connecting the top and bottom pieces. The outfit pressed her breasts together, forming an alluring line of cleavage. Penn tried not to stare, but couldn't help himself, a detail that wasn't lost on Bastila.

"_Don't stare_," she hissed.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Penn replied, trying to suppress the smirk that was fighting to cross his lips. "Are we ready?" he asked Canderous.

"Yep. Get in," he motioned to the speeder. Barely waiting until the two were seated, Canderous stepped on the accelerator, leaving the cantina behind.

oo-oo

After a half hour, the three arrived at Davik's estate. The Exchange boss was quick to introduce himself and show the three to their quarters - Bastila was less than thrilled to see she and Penn would be sharing a room - before instructing them not to leave until he checked out their credentials. Penn noticed Davik couldn't stop staring at Bastila, who in turn kept smiling at him - it annoyed him to no end, but he ignored it to keep his cover intact.

Once Davik left the three, Canderous began loading his weapon. "Time to go to work," he smiled. "Let me get something out of my room and then I'll be all set." The grey haired man bounded across the hall, leaving Bastila and Penn alone.

"I noticed Davik took a liking to you," Penn smirked, trying to make light of the situation.

"And?" Bastila narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing," he shrugged. "I just could've sworn I saw you making eyes at him."

"Then you should keep your eyes to _yourself_," she huffed. "Even though I'd imagine that'd be difficult with the amount of _staring_ you do."

"Excuse me?" Penn's eyes widened.

"You're not nearly as discreet as you think you are, _Penn Thayer._ Your eyes have been popping out of your head since I was forced into this ridiculous outfit."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but in order to catch one _staring_, one would have to already be _looking_, would they not?" Penn crossed his arms.

"You think just because you're _charming_ and-and-and _attractive_ that all women are staring at you, but let me tell you -"

"Hold on, hold on," Penn interrupted. "Did you just say I'm attractive?"

"N-no," Bastila stammered. "I said I _understand_ how some women might find - why am I explaining myself to you? Stop putting words in my mouth and focus on the mission like I am."

"So if we're going by your model of _focusing_, I should go flirt with someone, am I getting this right?"

"Any flirtation between Davik and I was purely to cement our cover," Bastila took on a self-righteous tone. "You would be wise to do the same."

"Is that a clumsy come on?"

"Please," she laughed in exasperation. "If I wanted you to flirt with me, _believe me_, I could figure out a better way to get you to do it than _that_."

"Alright," he nodded. "You want me to flirt with someone? Follow me, babe."

Penn pulled Bastila into a small lounge behind his room. The room was filled with several women dressed in outfits similar to the one Bastila sported, although, Penn admitted that none of them looked quite as good in it as she did.

"Excuse me, ladies, would one of you be so kind as to give me a massage?" he asked, smirking at Bastila all the while.

"I will," a woman called from behind. "Sheila," she bowed her head slightly.

"Penn."

"Follow me," she lightly pulled his hand and led him to a chair before quickly going to work on his neck and shoulders. "I've heard so much about you," she smiled as she massaged him. "You're much more attractive than I expected."

Rolling her eyes at Sheila's comment, Bastila crossed her arms, but pretended seeing another woman touching him didn't bother her. Penn couldn't see it from this angle, but the young Jedi was digging her short nails into her own arms in frustration, wondering why it suddenly mattered to her.

"Lean back and close your eyes," Sheila purred. Figuring the quick massage was nearing an end, Penn obeyed. Before he realized what was happening, Sheila lowered her head and planted a soft, open-mouthed kiss on his lips.

Quickly pulling his face away, he opened his eyes to look at Bastila, praying she'd missed the kiss. She hadn't. A look of hurt and anger washed over her. "Babe, wait," he stood, shrugging Sheila off.

Just then, Canderous walked through the door. With a quick glance at Penn, Bastila grabbed Canderous' face and kissed him with a surprising amount of passion before looking over her shoulder at Penn.

"What the hell is going on here?" Canderous asked, thoroughly confused.

"Nothing," Penn answered, conceding that he deserved the jab from Bastila.

"_Crazy Republic lovers_," Canderous grunted. "Let's go find the hangar codes." The Mandalorian quickly turned and walked out of the room, expecting Penn and Bastila to follow, but the two lingered for a moment - in a matter of seconds, each had wounded the other. "Are you two comin' or not?" Canderous yelled, snapping the two into action. They quickly followed the man, trying to keep their minds focused on the task at hand.

As the three made their way through Davik's estate looking for the codes, Bastila and Penn barely looked at one another. The only interaction among the group was either Penn to Canderous or Bastila to Canderous.

Penn and Canderous got along just fine as Penn did with most people, however, Canderous and Bastila were a completely different story. Neither seemed capable of overlooking their prejudice toward the other. Bastila harbored distrust toward all Mandalorians, especially those who served during the Mandalorian War. Canderous despised all Jedi, save for Revan, and deemed those who didn't fight against the Mandalorian threat to be the worst of the bunch.

The two traded insults as they walked before Bastila put an end to the hostilities by reciting the Jedi code beneath her breath.

Finally, after sneaking around Davik's estate for an hour, the three came upon a computer that housed the passcode to the hangar. "I'll get the codes off this computer," Canderous looked to Penn. "It'll take a few minutes. Make sure our spoiled little Jedi princess doesn't get into any trouble, will ya? Even though I'd have no problem leaving her behind."

As Canderous moved to the computer, Penn looked to the woman standing no more than an arm's length away. Somehow, she seemed much more distant than that.

"Hey," Penn brushed her hand with his to get her attention. "I'm sorry about earlier. It was a joke, but it went a little too far," he said softly so their conversation would slip past Canderous' ears.

"I don't care if you choose to defile yourself with loose moraled women," Bastila said through gritted teeth, not even bothering to look at him. She tried to show indifference, but the hurt in her eyes gave her away.

Penn knew he would pay for what he was about to say, but said it anyways. "If you didn't care, then why did you retaliate?"

"I kissed Canderous because I wanted to," Bastila turned in anger, looking into Penn's eyes for the first time since the kiss. "It was a moment of weakness and impulsiveness, I'll admit, but I don't have to check in with you any time I kiss someone, now do I?"

"No, but I'd rather it be me you're kissing."

The words slipped out of his lips before he could stop them. The Jedi opened her mouth as though she had something to say, before closing it in utter shock. Penn had done the impossible - the quick witted Bastila Shan was speechless. In all honesty, Penn was just as surprised as she was, but held eye contact. There was no going back - his secret was out.

"Got it," Canderous grinned, waving a small disk at the two. "Now, all we've gotta do is steal the Ebon Hawk, pick up your friends and get the hell off this planet."

"Great," Penn nodded, pulling the com-link out of his pocket, seemingly unfazed by the bombshell he just dropped on Bastila. "I'll contact Carth now. I told him to wait nearby."

"Let's get a move o-" Canderous stopped mid sentence when he caught sight of Bastila. Still searching for some sort of answer, her eyes looked Penn up and down frantically as she stood in silence. "You got her to shut up. What'd you do?" he grunted at Penn.

"Told her she'd have to share a bunk with you on the ship," Penn lied, earning a gruff laugh out of Canderous, who promptly began walking to the hangar. Taking one last look at a dumbfounded Bastila, Penn began following Canderous when a loud popping sound shook the ground.

The three stopped dead in their tracks - Penn felt a stirring deep in his gut. "Taris is under attack."

"Malak," Bastila whispered.

"Come on," Penn grabbed Bastila's hand without permission and began pulling her alongside Canderous as they rushed for the hangar. "Carth? Can you read me?" he yelled into the com-link as the building began to shake violently.

The reception was fuzzy due to the interference, but clear enough to hear Carth's acknowledgment. "Get to the top of the building you're at. We'll be there to pick the four of you up in less than five. Over."

As the three approached the hangar, Davik and a bounty hunter Penn recognized from several wanted posters around Taris were running to the Ebon Hawk. Davik stopped when he caught sight of the trio. "Well, well, well, what do we have here? Looks like a couple of thieves trying to steal my ship," Davik snorted before looking to the bounty hunter next to him. "Calo, deal with them."

Before Calo could whip out the grenades he was so famous for, Canderous drew his blaster rifle, shooting Davik square between the eyes as the ceiling collapsed, covering Calo Nord in a pile of rubble. "I've always wanted to kill him," Canderous laughed as he began running toward the ship. "Come on, time's a wastin'."

The Mandalorian quickly got the Ebon Hawk up and running before opening the hangar doors. "There," Penn pointed to a nearby building. For once, he was grateful for the obnoxious orange jacket Carth seemed to love - he doubted he would have seen the group if not for it. Canderous flew the ship to the rooftop before reluctantly handing over the controls to Carth, a longtime Republic pilot. As Carth flew the ship, the group could see balls of fire and blaster bolts raining down on Taris.

"Hold on," Carth yelled as he banked the ship in an attempt to dodge flying debris. Canderous kept his footing by grabbing onto a small pole, but Penn and Bastila weren't so lucky. The sharp turn caused Penn to lose his balance. Since he was still clutching the Jedi's hand, the two fell onto the floor with Bastila landing on top of Penn, mere inches from his face.

"Wooohooo!" Canderous laughed as the Ebon Hawk broke into hyperspeed. "We did it!"

Carth slumped in his seat, smiling and breathing deep sighs of relief. Neither of the men seemed to notice Penn and Bastila still laying on the floor, both unwilling to move. The two looked deep into one another's eyes.

A hunger Penn hadn't noticed before danced in Bastila's eyes - he knew his showed the same longing. As their chests rose and fell rapidly, Penn lowered his gaze to Bastila's lips before looking back to her eyes. To his surprise, Bastila was slowly tilting her head as she focused on his lips, readying for a kiss. As he moved his hand to touch her cheek, he heard someone clear their throat just above him.

"Looks like you took my advice, huh?" Mission smiled. Both equally embarrassed that their moment of weakness had been discovered, Bastila scrambled to lift herself off Penn as he scooted out from beneath her.

"Where to now?" Penn cleared his throat.

"Dantooine," Bastila answered, trying to hide the redness in her cheeks. "We can find out more about what's going on and your visions. Besides, it's safe there."

Carth nodded and began punching coordinates for Dantooine into the navi-computer.


	5. Chapter 5 - Charcoal

It was dark.

The only light was afforded by the star-filled sky. Nothing but the tall grass stirred in the cool night breeze. He knelt to run his fingers along the dirt and grass as the cool air bit at his lungs. This place felt like home.

"This is it," he said as he glanced over his shoulder.

"Then let's hurry up. I don't like it here," a figure shrouded in a black hood complained. Although he couldn't identify the man behind him, something sinister emanated from him.

Looking forward, he saw a small black door nestled into a grassy knoll, hidden by countless vines. Making his way down an earthen ramp, he edged closer to the door, pushed the vines to the side and placed his hand against it. A faint red glow streamed from his fingertips - immediately, the sound of rusted locks opening sounded out. Once the sound stopped, he pushed the door open and stepped inside the hidden room.

The room was pitch black, save for a greenish-gold orb floating at the room's center. As he approached, he could see it was a map of some sort, albeit incomplete. As he narrowed his eyes to inspect it, the room began to shake. "_Wake up_," a distant voice called. "_Wake up!_"

"Out of all the scouts in the Republic fleet, I get the one who could sleep through anything," Bastila complained as she shook him. "We're going to be late." Penn slowly opened his eyes to see two grey ones staring directly into his. "_Finally_. You're awake," she threw his shirt onto his face. "Get dressed. We've got to meet with the Council."

"Give me a second," Penn said groggily as he pushed the shirt off his face. He leaned over, pulled a small stub of charcoal out of his back pocket, then scanned the room for something to write on - he settled on a nearby napkin and quickly began scribbling.

"What are you doing?" Bastila asked with narrowed eyes.

When Penn didn't immediately answer Bastila pulled the makeshift writing instrument out of his hands. "Are you _always_ this pleasant in the morning?"

"I asked you a question. What were you doing?" she motioned to the napkin.

"_Writing_," he replied sarcastically, earning a glare from Bastila. This was by far the longest interaction the two had had since their almost-kiss during their escape from Taris ten days ago. Penn was somewhat upset with himself for announcing his desire to kiss Bastila, but the fact that she had tried to kiss him told him the attraction was mutual - he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Fine," he groaned as he stretched his back, taking note of Bastila's fleeting glances at his chest. "If you really want to know, I'm writing down all of my dreams. I have been since that one on Taris. Some of them feel like more than dreams. Some feel like -" He stopped short when he saw Bastila's confused expression. "You know what," he shook his head. "Just forget it. I'll meet you outside."

"No," she said softly as she rested her hand on his arm. "Go on." Her surprisingly gentle touch sent involuntary shivers down his spine. Wanting to put an end to the moment for his sanity's sake, he cleared his throat as he glanced down at her hand, still lingering on his forearm. "Right," she cleared her throat as she removed her hand.

"Some of them feel like memories. Obviously they aren't, but I just like to keep a log."

"What was the dream you were just writing down about?"

"I, uh," he squinted his eyes as he stood up to get dressed. "I found a door built into a small hill. After I opened it, I went inside and saw -"

"A glowing orb," Bastila interrupted, her face pale.

"Yeah," Penn nodded his head suspiciously as he buttoned his shirt. "How'd you know that?"

"Because I had the same dream," she said softly.

"So you can see my dreams?"

"Or you can see _mine_," Bastila reminded him in an annoyed tone. "If we were actually in your dreams, I have no doubt they would be lewd and wildly inappropriate."

"_My_ dreams would be lewd?" he snorted. "Sorry babe, but I'm not the one who's moaning out other people's names in my sleep."

"I - you -" Bastila stammered, a blush rapidly rising into her cheeks. "I don't struggle with impure thoughts, especially when it comes to you."

"No one said anything about me," Penn reminded her.

"_If you're not the most frustrating_ -" she muttered beneath her breath as she shook her head. "We don't have time for this. We're going to be late. Come," she motioned, only to realize she was still holding his charcoal. "Ahhh, uh," she scrunched her face as she saw her now blackened fingers. "You really should just use your datapad for this," she handed him the makeshift writing instrument before wiping her hands on Canderous' nearby bed sheets.

"Don't have one," Penn shrugged. "I lost everything on the Endar Spire. At least, that's what I think happened."

A look of pity and a hint of guilt crossed Bastila's face. "Come," she said softly before leaving the Ebon Hawk and walking to the Enclave to meet the Masters.

oo-oo

This meeting with the Jedi had gone far better than the one Penn had the night before. Instead of bickering over Revan, a Sith Lord he heard died a few month prior, as they had during their first meeting, the Council deemed Penn Force sensitive and offered to train him in the ways of the Force.

"So, I just want to be sure I'm getting this right," Penn whispered as he left the meeting with Bastila. "I'm going to train to be a Jedi?"

"Yes," Bastila answered quietly. "And you and I are somehow bonded together through the Force, which explains why we've been having the same dreams."

"You don't sound too happy about that," he laughed.

"Because I'm not," she shot back. "I don't like the idea of sharing dreams with _anyone_, especially _you_."

"What's there to hide?" Penn teased.

"Nothing."

"You wouldn't happen to be dreaming about _me_, now would you?" he smirked.

"No," she narrowed her eyes.

Wanting to tease her further, Penn pushed the limits. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. We _all_ have dreams about people we know from time to time."

"Look," Bastila spun around, obviously having had enough. "Our mutual attraction is nothing more than our Force bond manifesting itself. Understood?"

"So you _are_ attracted to me. Got it."

"That's not what I said," she yelled. "_Your_ attraction. _Yours_. All _you_. I'll admit, I'm interested in you, but not in the way you think. My interest in you is purely academic."

"Is that what you're calling it?"

"_Yes_, because that's what it _is_," she hissed. "I simply like to know more about things I don't understand."

"So what don't you understand?" he said in a low voice as he edged closer in an attempt to make her uncomfortable. "Anything I can clear up for you?"

A flustered look fell upon Bastila's face. It didn't take a Force bond to know he wasn't alluding to things of an innocent nature. "I - uh," she shook her head, trying to keep the heat in her chest at bay. "I - I don't know much about you other than what I saw on your service records. Since we're going to be working together on a _strictly_ professional basis, I'd like to know more about you. Name?" Penn rolled his eyes at her question, but she merely repeated it. "Name?"

"Penn Thayer," he crossed his arms.

"Homeworld?"

"Don't know. I think somewhere on the Outer Rim, but I'm really not sure. Probably has something to do with the crash."

"Age?"

"I turned 608 last week," he smirked, earning a glare from Bastila, who quickly turned to walk away. The notion of upsetting her suddenly bothered him - he reached out and grabbed her hand, halting her progress. "Wait. Thirty. I'm thirty, babe."

Bastila cleared her throat when he didn't let go of her hand. "Sorry," Penn pulled his hand away. "Let's see what else you might want to know about me… The amount of caffa I drink on an average day could probably kill a small bantha, I hate duro fruit, love to write, usually keep my hair like this," he motioned to his small bun, "I _think_ I used to have a piercing because I have a little indentation on my right earlobe, can't remember much of anything about my childhood or family, otherwise I'd tell you. And uh," he smiled as he thought of the last item on his list. "And I get a certain Jedi sentinel _pretty_ hot, even though she refuses to admit it."

Bastila's eyes widened. "Just because you excite me, _Penn Thayer,_ doesn't mean -" she stopped when one of the Jedi Masters approached. "Master Zhar," she smiled warmly. "You want to speak with me?"

"Not right now," the Twi'lek smiled. "I was actually coming for Padawan Thayer. Are you ready to begin your training?"

"Of course," Penn nodded humbly, earning an eye roll out of Bastila. Master Zhar began walking away - before Penn followed, he looked to Bastila. "When I said hot, I actually meant angry. But thanks for letting me know I excite you," he flashed a half smile before following the Twi'lek back into the Enclave.

oo-oo

Three months passed. Penn trained day in and day out for hours on end. Much to his amusement and her chagrin, Master Zhar recruited Bastila as Penn's sparring partner, forcing the two to spend 8 hours a day together. As Penn's skills with a blade grew, so did his feelings for Bastila.

After besting Bastila for the fourth time that day, Zhar motioned for the two to stop. "You've come a long way, Padawan Thayer," he smiled. "I feel it is time for you to have your final test. Go out into the hills and find what is riling the kath hounds." After he finished speaking, the Twi'lek turned to walk away.

"Wait," Penn chased after him. "Could you tell me anything more?"

"No," Zhar shook his head. "This is a lesson that you must see to understand." With a sorrowful expression on his face, the master walked away, leaving Penn and Bastila alone.

"Well, I guess you're going to have to find someone else to argue with for a few days," Penn forced a chuckle, flashing a weak smile. As he began walking toward the Enclave's exit to the hills, he felt a small hand grasp his fingertips.

"Penn," Bastila said softly. "Just-just be careful." The moment was surprisingly sweet. The concern in her eyes sent a surge of heat into Penn's throat as the knot in his stomach worsened.

Over the past few months, he'd grown to care for her more than he'd ever cared about anyone - which, in all actuality, didn't mean much since he couldn't remember anything before the Endar Spire. Nonetheless, he wanted to show her how much he cared without setting her over the edge. Penn leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. "Will do, babe," he smiled as he walked away.

The sound of Bastila yelling various curses could be heard throughout the Enclave, but Penn didn't care. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was in love.


	6. Chapter 6 - Falling

"_There is no emotion, there is Penn - peace_," Bastila shook her head as she meditated. "_Peace_," she mentally corrected herself once more. She'd been trying to meditate for the past three hours with little success. There was far too much on her mind - most of it relating to Penn in some form or another - to concentrate. "_There is no passion -_"

"Hey, Bas," Mission's voice interrupted the quiet of her mind. "Whatcha doin'?" Bastila didn't bother to answer, hoping that by ignoring the teen, she'd go away. "You're really worried about him, aren't you?"

"Worried? Worried about who?" Bastila replied, still not bothering to open her eyes.

"Oh get real, Bas," Mission chided. "Tall, dark, kinda handsome. It's alright if you find him sorta attractive. I do."

Bastila finally opened her eyes, only to narrow them at the Twi'lek. "Is there a point to this conversation, Mission?"

"So you don't think he's cute _at all_?" Mission asked in a shocked tone. "He's got that whole, I dunno, rugged look goin' for him."

"I'll admit," Bastila sighed, wondering why she felt the need to explain herself to the teen. "I find him attractive at times, yes, but I'm a _Jedi_. Besides, he's far too cocky. Impulsive. Headstrong." Before she knew it, her lips were forming into a faint smile.

"_Awww_," Mission rested her chin in her palms. "You _like_ him!"

"Mission, this is hardly an appropriate conversation," Bastila shifted uncomfortably, glancing around to be sure no other Jedi were around to hear the conversation. "Shouldn't you be running around with your wookiee friend or something of that nature?"

"So you don't deny it?" she ignored Bastila's question. "So have you kissed him yet? What's it like?"

"_Mission!_" Bastila squealed, entirely embarrassed by the question.

"What?" Mission shrugged. "Just wondering. I've never kissed anyone before. Have you?"

Bastila closed her eyes, hoping Mission would understand she wanted privacy. "Mission, I'm trying to med-"

"If you two have kids, can I be the aunt? Hey!"

The sound of Mission's feet running away caught Bastila's attention. Opening one eye slightly, she watched as Mission ran with open arms to a tall figure who had their arms spread in a similar fashion. Once they connected, the taller figure Bastila assumed to be Penn, wrapped his arms around Mission, picking her up and spinning her around.

She smiled as she looked on. Seeing him was far more exhilarating than it should be, yet she kept her composure. However, her smile faded away as a smaller, curvier figure appeared behind Penn. A woman. A hint of jealousy crept into her mind as she watched the three walk closer to where she was.

"These past four days have been so boring without you. I really missed ya, Penn," Mission spoke loudly as she walked arm in arm with Penn. "We all did, but I don't think anyone missed you as much as Bastila."

Bastila's eyes widened with embarrassment as she heard Mission's statement. "Is that so?" Penn smirked as he approached her.

"Mission is prone to exaggeration," Bastila assured him. "I was merely concerned about you as we all were." She stopped the moment the second figure came into view - the woman was a Padawan she remembered as Juhani.

Seeing her glance at the Cathar, Penn shook his head. "I'm sorry, I didn't introduce you three. Mission, Bastila, this is -"

"Juhani," Bastila finished his sentence coolly. "I know."

Penn couldn't quite read Bastila's strange reaction, but his confusion was quickly interrupted by Juhani's voice. "I will go to the Council," she looked to Penn. "Thank you. I-I don't know how I could ever repay you." She flashed one last smile at Bastila before walking away.

"Hey, sweetie," Penn glanced down at Mission. "Would you mind giving Bastila and I a minute?" Mission nodded as a sneaky smirk crossed her lips, flashing a not-so-subtle wink at Bastila. "Thanks, Mish."

The two waited in silence until Mission was out of earshot before Penn smiled. "So you missed me, huh?"

"Hardly," Bastila shook her head, the pink hue rising in her cheeks giving her true feelings away.

"Right," Penn nodded, seeing through her obvious lie. "Do you remember that dream I told you about a few months back with the door in the hill?"

"Yes."

"I think I found it," he smiled. "We could go check it out."

"We should speak to the Council before -"

"Don't you _ever_ want to live life on the edge, babe?" Penn interrupted.

"No," Bastila answered quickly. Too quickly.

"I find that hard to believe," he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Look, it's not that far. If we start now, we'll be back before dark. What do you say?" he extended his hand.

Bastila wanted to say no, but ever since she saw another woman kiss Penn, the urge to break the rules had been growing inside her. Before she could stop herself, she took his hand, silently agreeing to go. Penn didn't wait for her to change her mind as he wrapped his fingers around her hand and pulled her into the hills.

To both their surprises, neither moved to pull their hand free of the other's grasp as they walked in silence, each grateful to be in the presence in the other, although neither admitted that fact. Finally, Penn broke the silence. "It seemed like you and Juhani met before."

"Yes," Bastila replied, hoping to end the discussion.

"Alright," Penn smiled at her short answer. One of the things he loved most about the woman walking beside him was the challenge she presented. Bastila was strong and didn't act like she needed or even liked him for that matter. "Let's put it this way - it didn't seem like you liked her too much."

"And?"

"Care to explain why?"

Jealousy. That was the true reason. Bastila hadn't really given the Cathar two thoughts before she saw her with Penn. Now, she was all she could think about. Perhaps she was just imagining it, but the way she looked at him was far too...too..._much_ to simply be a friendly glance. However, she couldn't admit jealousy. That would seem silly and childish. It's not as if she were in love for goodness sake. Or was she?

"No," she finally answered, knowing he wouldn't drop the issue, merely buying herself time to think of an acceptable explanation.

"So we're going to do this the hard way I see. Alright," Penn nodded. "Is it some old fight between you two from your training days?"

"No."

"Bad hookup?" he laughed, earning a glare out of Bastila. "Didn't think so. I don't know, jealousy?"

Although he was merely scraping answers together, Bastila's eyes widened. "N-no."

"You sure?" Penn asked suspiciously, seeing her expression change.

"Yes," she nodded nervously, determining that whatever answer he came up with next, she'd agree to just to get out of this conversation.

"Ok. Uh, is it because she fell to the dark side?"

"Yes," Bastila replied quickly.

"Alright," Penn glanced at her. "Why?"

"Because."

"Do you not think anyone can be redeemed?"

"No," she shook her head.

"What if Carth were a Jedi? Would you try saving him?"

"Well, yes, but he'd be a miserable Jedi."

"I don't know," Penn laughed. "He's got the whole mysterious and moody thing going for him."

"Are you calling me moody?" Bastila narrowed her eyes.

"Those are your words, not mine. Besides, I'd go for a different description of you."

"And that would be?"

"Maybe I'll tell you later," he expertly dodged the question. "What if I fell to the dark side? Would you try to save me?"

The simple hypothetical question made Bastila's blood run cold - she had already encountered this scenario and knew the answer. "Yes."

"Why me and not Juhani? Or Zhar? Or, I don't know, if he were still alive, Revan?"

"What does Revan have to do with any of this?" she snapped, moving her hand to her lightsaber hilt, fearing he was remembering his former self.

"Just a famous dark lord," he lifted his hands. "Maybe moody really _is_ an accurate description for you."

"And rude is a proper one for you. Cocky and impulsive also fit."

"What exactly have I done that's been impulsive over the past few months?" he narrowed his eyes, conceding he deserved rude and cocky.

"You-you," Bastila couldn't think of anything. "You tried to kiss me on Taris," she blurted out.

"_I_ tried to kiss _you?_" Penn's eyes widened, shocked that she had brought up the near kiss months after the fact. "Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I do recall you were on top of me, pinning me to the floor when I supposedly tried to kiss you. And, I _distinctly_ remember you lowering your lips."

"At least I didn't blurt out that I wanted to kiss you," she barked.

"So I did," Penn rolled his eyes. "I'll use the go-to Jedi cop out and say 'it was a moment of weakness'. But _someone_ hasn't stopped thinking about it."

"Are you mocking me?" Bastila narrowed her eyes. "When I moved to kiss you I -"

"_There_," Penn interrupted. "You _finally_ admit it."

"No," Bastila shook her head as heat rose into her chest. "You're the one who wanted to -"

Bastila was cut off by Penn grabbing her waist and pulling her against his body. "If I'm going to kiss you, you'll know. Trust me," he said softly. After searching his eyes and getting momentary pleasure from the feeling of her body pressed against his, Bastila wiggled free of his arms.

The two walked in silence for a while longer before Penn broke the quiet for the second time. "Thanks for saying you'd try to save me if I fell to the dark side."

"You're welcome," Bastila nodded. Little did he know, she already had.

"For the record, I'd try to save you too."

A look of confusion fell upon Bastila's face. She wasn't confused about what he said - it was quite clear. What she didn't understand was why the statement made her heart jump into her throat. It wasn't as if she were actually falling to the dark side, but knowing someone cared enough in theory to bring her back warmed the heart she had so expertly covered over all these years. "Thank you," she said softly, knowing he truly meant what he said.


	7. Chapter 7 - Burns

After a few more minutes of walking, Penn pointed to a small black door hidden amongst the vines, just as promised. Once he made his way down the earthen ramp, Penn stared at the door for a few moments before pushing the vines aside and placing his hand on the door, just as he had in his dream.

"What are you doing?" Bastila asked him.

"Don't know," he answered, eyes fixed on the door. "I just thought maybe -" the sound of rusty locks grinding open silenced him. A faint blue glow pulsed from his fingertips as Bastila looked on in shock. Once all of the locks opened, Bastila narrowed her eyes at Penn.

"How did you do that?"

"Honestly, I'm not really sure," he said quietly before pushing the door open, grabbing her hand and pulling her through the threshold.

The room was dark, just as it had been in his dream. Once their eyes adjusted to the scarce lighting, the two noticed an old droid standing near the room's center. As they carefully approached it to investigate further, it hummed to life.

"Welcome back," the droid spoke in a language Bastila didn't understand.

"What's it saying?" she looked to Penn, hoping he understood.

"It said welcome back," he narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Have you been here before, babe?" Before she could answer, the droid began speaking once more. Since Penn was the only one capable of understanding the droid, he translated for Bastila.

"It's saying something about a Star Forge," Penn translated. "It sounds like it's some sort of a weapon."

"Ask if Malak built it," Bastila instructed. He asked the droid to answer Bastila's question before shaking his head. "Revan?" Penn shook his head once more.

"The droid is saying the Star Forge was constructed thousands of years before Revan and Malak were even born."

"Ask what exactly it does."

As Penn was speaking, the droid started to hiss and sizzle. "Babe," he said softly, turning his attention from the droid to her. "Back u-" before he could finish his sentence, the droid exploded. Readying herself for the inevitable pain of being hit by steaming hot droid parts, Bastila closed her eyes. However, the pain never came. Instead, she felt safe and warm. Opening her eyes, she saw nothing but dark cloth.

She pulled her head back slightly to see Penn standing in front of her, holding her close to his chest, his arms wrapped around her. He had shielded her with his own body. Tears began to well in Bastila's eyes - no one had ever put themselves in harm's way to protect her before she met Penn. This was the second time he had done so.

"_Ergh_," Penn groaned as he released her to touch his back. "That didn't feel too great," he chuckled lightly before looking down into Bastila's glassy eyes. "Babe, what's wrong? Did something hit you?" Forgetting the pain he was in, Penn moved his hands to lightly grasp either side of her face. "I'm sorry," he shook his head. "This is my fault. I'll get you back to the En-"

"I'm fine," she interrupted quietly. "Turn around."

"I'm alright," Penn lied.

"Turn around," she reiterated firmly. "Please," she said in a softer tone. Penn took a deep breath as he turned his now bloodied back to her. Scrapes and cuts showed through the ripped material of his dark Padawan robes. "Release the clasping buttons," she instructed. Penn did so as Bastila quickly pulled away the robe.

Now shirtless, the extent of Penn's injuries were clear. Various lacerations and burns marked his back. Bastila gently ran her fingers along him before closing her eyes and using the Force to heal each wound. A surge of love for Penn rushed through her being. Although all the cuts had been treated and the burns were nothing more than memories, Bastila kept her hands on his back, relishing the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips. "You didn't have to do that," she said softly as she traced the muscles of his back lightly.

"Do what?" Penn asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Protect me. I should be the one protecting you. I'm the Jedi."

"Well, you might be a Jedi, but I've always felt that a man should protect the woman he -" he stopped short, realizing he almost admitted his love for her. "A woman," he recovered. "At least, that's how I've felt for as long as I can remember, which really isn't all that long," he laughed as he turned to face Bastila, boldly wrapping his arms around her waist as she positioned her hands against his chest.

The fact that someone had protected her yet expected nothing in return was almost more than Bastila could handle. It went against everything she knew to be true - for years, she had protected others but had never received the same treatment. A mixture of love and guilt racked her body. Her heart pleaded to be honest with Penn, to tell him of who he really was, but her head told her to listen to the Council and stay silent.

Ultimately, her head won out as it had so many times before. Although, a small piece of her heart shone through when she stepped to her tiptoes and kissed Penn's jaw. Despite his face being covered by stubble, the kiss seemed perfect in every way to Bastila.

"Thank you," she whispered as she lowered herself.

The urge to kiss her had never been greater. Any doubts that he was in love were eradicated as he looked into her large eyes. Penn kept one hand around her waist as he moved the other to her cheek and lowered his lips toward hers. Before their lips could meet, a loud clicking noise from just behind interrupted the moment.

"Penn," Bastila said quietly as her gaze shifted from his eyes to the greenish-gold orb from their shared vision rising out of the machine behind the now-broken droid covered in smoke. She began to edge toward it as Penn followed behind, putting on his robe as he walked.

The two watched in awe as the orb floated to the low ceiling before revealing several points. "It's a map," Penn whispered, remembering the map from his vision.

"But to what?"

"The Star Forge."

"How do you kn-"

"I don't know how I know," Penn interrupted. "I just do."

Bastila nodded, accepting his answer. "We must tell the Council about this. Come." As her fleet footsteps bounded for the door, Penn called out.

"Bastila, wait." Penn considered telling her exactly how he felt, but something inside forbade him from doing so. "Uh, wait for me," he said, choking back his confession of love, as he ran to catch up with her.

oo-oo

The meeting with the Council went somewhat unexpectedly. Since Penn seemed to have such a connection to this mission through his visions, the Council decided he should forgo the rest of his training to find the Star Forge. Master Vandar insisted Bastila accompany him as a stand-in master to ensure Penn was on the right track since their Force bond seemed so strong. Bastila protested, but the Council didn't listen. Instead, they wished them well and prayed that the Force was with them.

As the two walked away, Bastila looked to Penn, hoping she hadn't offended him by protesting her accompanying him on the journey. The true reason she had insisted on staying behind was because she felt herself falling deeper in love each day, breaking a cardinal rule of her Jedi training.

"Penn," she said softly as she rummaged through her sack. "I thought this would be a parting gift, but since it seems we'll be together quite often, I may as well give it to you now." Bastila pulled out a datapad and placed it in Penn's hands - she explained herself further as he looked it over, smiling from ear to ear. "I thought you could write down all of your dreams on this instead of using that charcoal and stealing everyone's napkins."

"Thank you," Penn smiled as he ran his fingers along the datapad before noticing an irregularity on its smooth surface - he flipped it over to see something etched in the corner. 'Penn Thayer'.

"I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of personalizing it for you," Bastila said, trying to fight the rapidly forming smile on her lips.

"Not at all," he said as he turned his gaze from the gift to her eyes.

"Would you mind if I read some of them?" Bastila asked nervously, her voice barely above a whisper.

Penn paused for a moment. "Are you sure? Some of them aren't exactly, I don't know, Jedi appropriate? I, uh, I don't want you to think less of me." His voice was soft and tender - Bastila knew she had to say something to kill the sweetness of the moment for fear she might kiss him.

"I couldn't possibly think any less of you, so that shouldn't be a problem," she smiled, earning a chuckle out of Penn.

"_Ouch_," he laughed before looking to the Ebon Hawk. "Ready to go?" Bastila nodded as the two began walking to the ship, not knowing when - or if ever - they would return to the Enclave.


	8. Chapter 8 - Jaws

Rage.

It was the only thing he could feel.

It bubbled deep in his stomach and clouded his vision as he bounded down the hall, shoving various uniformed men attempting to salute him out of his way as he went. Finally, he arrived at his intended destination - instead of knocking on the door, he kicked it open, breaking a series of locks as if they were straw.

The only person in the room - a broad-shouldered man with bluish-grey tattoos adorning his bald head - was too preoccupied yelling at a young brunette woman on the holovid to notice he was no longer alone. "You think that just because you're some general now you're smarter than I am - is that it, Surik?" the bald man yelled at the brunette. "I did what everyone else was too scared to do."

"Turn off the damn holovid, Mee," he growled as rushed for the man. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Telos challenged our authority," the man said nonchalantly as the holovid behind him fizzled into nothingness. "Karath's defection provided an opportunity, so I sent them a message."

"By killing a planet full of innocent civilians, Squint?!" he screamed, edging into the man's personal space.

"_Don't call me that_," Squint hissed, narrowing his piercing blue eyes before continuing on. "I did what you were too soft to do, _Master_. Other planets will think of it as a constant reminder," he said in a dismissive tone. "I was acting as your mouthpiece - you _should_ be thanking me."

Without warning, he drew his lightsaber and slashed at Squint's face, connecting with his jaw. Blood and a sickening gurgle of sheer agony followed as he fell to the floor, grasping for what was no longer there. "You will _never_ act as my mouthpiece again," he said as he pointed his lightsaber at Squint, his free hand shaking with anger. "Think of _this_ as a constant reminder."

Ignoring the incomprehensible cries of pain coming from Squint as he lay on the floor in fetal position, he withdrew his blade and left the room, not even bothering to sidestep the rapidly growing pool of blood and scattered teeth...

Penn opened his eyes quickly, reeling from the violence and brutality of his dream. This was the fifth dream in the past twelve hours - he'd barely slept a wink all night because of them. He'd hoped an afternoon nap would allow him to catch up on sleep before the crew reached their first destination, the desert planet Tattooine. Apparently there would be no such luck.

Shaking his head in an attempt to rid the bloody dream from his mind, Penn rose from his bunk and began walking to the refresher. As he cleaned up, he felt as if Bastila wanted to speak with him. Determining he'd jot down the dream at a later time, he swiftly made his way to the cockpit just as she was leaving it.

"Hey," he flashed a nervous smile. The more time Penn spent around Bastila, the more nervous he found himself becoming, something he'd never experienced before. "Did you want to talk to me, babe?"

"How did you -" she paused before shaking her head. "Well, I suppose this bond does have its advantages after all. Yes, I would like to speak with you. Actually, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Go for it," Penn nodded.

"Back at the Enclave, some of the Masters were impressed with how quickly you've learned to use the Force. Honestly, the command you have over the Force is far more than I could ever… I'm sorry," she shook her head, obviously having gotten off track. "Throughout it all, you remained true to the light. I was wondering how you remain so strong, so steadfast? I sometimes find it difficult to -" the sound of Carth's pilot seat squeaking as he shifted his weight cut her short.

"Sorry," Carth chuckled nervously.

"Perhaps we should speak somewhere private," Bastila whispered to Penn before she lightly touched his fingertips to lead him out of the room. Privacy seemed hard to come by - every main meeting room was taken by some member of the crew. Finally, the two made their way to the men's dormitory.

"Close the door, will you?" Bastila asked quietly. After he closed the door, the two stood in silence for a few moments. "You're stronger than I am," Bastila sighed. It was the last thing Penn expected her to say, but listened intently. "You've had so little training and yet, you've surpassed me. Things I find difficult and struggle with seem so natural and simple to you."

"It's not that they're natural. I've just had a good example to follow," he assured her with a faint yet warm smile.

"That's very kind of you to say, but we both know it's a lie," Bastila said softly as she looked at the Ebon Hawk's durosteel grate floors. "I feel myself feeling weaker whenever I'm around you, yet at the same time, I feel stronger. More alive. You're not what I expected," she slowly lifted her eyes to look into his.

"What did you expect?" Penn asked in a low voice as he edged toward her.

"Not this," she motioned to him. "Not - not you. You're not like any man I've ever met before. I find myself thinking about you when I shouldn't. Wanting to be near you when I can't. Our affinity towards each other…" she stopped, knowing that saying their Force bond was the culprit behind their attraction to one another was a lie.

"Right now," she paused for a moment to choose her words carefully. "Right now I need you to focus on the mission and defeating Malak."

"I am and I will," he assured her as he closed the gap between their bodies. "I want to do it with you by my side," Penn smiled as he gently brushed a stray strand of hair on the verge of falling into her eyes.

"You really mean that, don't you?" Bastila searched his eyes. As he nodded, Penn leaned down to kiss her. Just before their lips touched, Bastila reluctantly pulled herself out of his reach. "I'm a Jedi," she shook her head. "I can't. I'm sorry."

Looking down, Bastila rushed for the door before she heard Penn's voice. "Bastila Shan, you're the most frustrating woman I've ever met."

"_What_ did you say?" Bastila questioned with her hand on the door.

"You heard me," he shrugged. "I said you're frustrating."

"You're the frustrating one, _Penn Thayer_," Bastila turned and glared at him. "And you're cocky."

"And you're rude."

"_Rude?_ At least I have the decency to call people by their names. You're an impulsive idiot," Bastila yelled as she bounded toward him.

"And you're absolutely infuriating, you're arrogant and you talk way too much," Penn pretended to count things down on his fingers.

"_I'm infuriating?!"_ Bastila questioned as she poked her finger into his chest. "I'm not the one who can drive someone to point a blaster to their own head by the end of a five minute conversation."

"And I wouldn't change a thing about you because I'm so incredibly and insanely in love with you." Bastila opened her mouth to insult him once more before his words sunk in, leaving her speechless. "I love you, Bastila. And I know you love me too."

The two stood in silence, breathing heavily as they searched each other's eyes. Moments passed without a reply from Bastila. Biting his lip and shaking his head, Penn turned to leave, convinced that Bastila would continue lying to herself. As he moved past her, Bastila grabbed his neck, spinning him around and lowering his head with unexpected force. "Just shut up and kiss me."

Without a moment's hesitation, Bastila pressed her lips against his. After a moment of initial shock, Penn kissed back, wrapping his arms around her body as she pressed her hands against his cheeks. As the kiss deepened, Penn grabbed Bastila's bottom, scooting her further up his body. From this new vantage point, Bastila fisted her hands in his hair and pressed her legs against his midsection as he moved his hands to support her.

Their kisses were passionate and frantic, the result of months of pent up angst and lust. The only noise was provided by the sound of their lips connecting and their heavy breaths. Gaining confidence, Bastila opened his mouth with her own, grazing her tongue along his in an attempt to be closer to him, a bold yet welcomed surprise. After a few moments, Penn moved his lips to her long neck, just begging to be kissed.

Tilting her head back, Bastila exhaled with pleasure as his lips caressed her delicate stem. She knew a mark would appear letting everyone know what had happened, but for the first time in her life, she didn't care. Just as she finally allowed herself to give into the passion, the Jedi code that had been ingrained into her since childhood drifted into her mind. "There is no passion," she whispered.

"What?" Penn asked as he shifted his lips from the intersection of her jaw and neck to her lips once more. This time, Bastila didn't kiss back.

"Stop," she mumbled against his lips, fighting the urge to return his kiss. "Stop!" she shrieked.

Penn immediately pulled his lips away from hers, but kept his face near hers. "What's wrong, babe?"

"Put me down. Please," she pleaded, making sure not to look into his eyes.

"Did I go too far?" he asked, the concern in his voice genuine.

"No," Bastila shook her head as she touched his cheek. "You were more than I hoped. Just put me down, please." Per her wish, Penn lowered her to the floor, but stayed near. "We shouldn't have done that," she said softly. Wanting to be close to him one last time, Bastila stole a final kiss, wondering how something that felt so right could be so wrong. "This can't happen again," she said as she pulled away, keeping her eyes closed to savor the taste of his lips. "I'm sorry."

Feeling her willpower rapidly dissolving, Bastila ran out of the room, ignoring Penn's pleas for her to wait. How could she let this happen? How could she betray not only the Jedi code, but the way she had been brought up? How had she fallen for the one person in the universe that was truly off limits?


	9. Chapter 9 - Bygones

A day passed. Bastila and Penn had successfully avoided each other inspite of the small confines of the ship, however as Carth lowered the Ebon Hawk onto Tatooine, both knew they would have to face the other.

As acting leader of the mission, Penn called a meeting for the entire crew in the main hold. While everyone else provided input of some capacity during the meeting, the Jedi who always had an opinion was noticeably silent. Seeing her mind was clearly elsewhere, Carth elbowed Bastila's arm several times throughout the assembly in an attempt to bring her back to the here and now.

By the meeting's end, it was determined that Penn, Bastila and Canderous would scout out Tatooine. As the gathering came to a close and the crew scattered, Carth looked to Bastila through narrowed yet concerned eyes.

"What's gotten into you?"

"_Hmm?_ Me? Nothing," she lied.

"I'm not buying that, sister," the commander chuckled. "We've known each other _way_ too long for me to believe you."

Unbeknownst to the rest of the crew, Carth and Bastila had met several years prior after the destruction of Telos. At the request of an enraged Republic Senate, most of whom deemed the Order somewhat responsible for the actions of the Jedi turned Sith, the Council sent a group of Padawans to assist in the recovery efforts - Bastila had been one of members of the squad. Proving her worth on that mission had been a stepping stone to becoming a Knight and leader of the strike team responsible for Darth Revan's demise.

"It's nothing," Bastila smiled weakly, desperately trying to convince the pilot to believe her lie. "I'm just trying to focus on the mission."

"If you say so," Carth shrugged before lowering his voice. "You _might_ wanna do a better job of covering that up though," he directed his eyes to the faint purple love mark on her neck, a souvenir of Penn's passionate kisses. The look of horror and embarrassment on Bastila's face made him roar with laughter. "Try rubbing salt and kolto on it. Works like a charm. Morgana and I figured that out when we were 16 and didn't want her parents to find out what we were really up to."

The now-mortified Jedi was the only one on the ship who knew of his painful past. "You still miss her, don't you?"

With suddenly glazed eyes, Carth nodded. "Yep," he said softly. "Every day." The commander paused for a moment, recalling what little of her face he remembered before looking back to Bastila. "You know, he looks at you a lot like I looked at my wife."

"What?" Bastila asked, slightly flustered.

"You. Penn. Bas, no one on the crew is stupid enough to think you got that from Canderous. Or me. Hell, or even Juhani if my suspicions about her are right," he chuckled as Bastila lowered her eyes. "You've spent a lot more time with him than I have, but he seems like a genuinely nice guy."

"Have you heard anything about your son?" Bastila quickly changed the subject.

"Nope," Carth exhaled deeply before shaking his head. "Still no word on Dustil. Not that I expect any at this point. He's ah, he's probably dead." Admittedly, comforting people had never been a strong suit of hers, but Bastila attempted to ease Carth's internal sorrow by resting her hand on his shoulder.

As the two sat in silence, Penn and Canderous walked into the main hold. "Ready?" Penn asked Bastila. It was the first time either had addressed the other since his confession of love led to their heated encounter. Nodding softly, Bastila patted Carth's shoulder somewhat awkwardly before following the man she secretly loved and the man she openly despised down the ship's ramp.

After haggling the docking fee with the Czerka attendant, the trio walked across the sandy shipyard toward Anchorhead's main U-shaped plaza.

"Is it always so damn hot here?" Canderous complained, wiping a bit of sweat beading at his brow.

"Yes," an unfamiliar silvery voice answered from behind. "But only during the dry season when all three suns blaze. During the cool season, it lowers to a tolerable temperature, but is still rather warm."

The three turned around to see an old wrinkled Twi'lek woman standing behind them. A warm smile crossed her lips as she locked her gaze on Bastila. "Til, my sweet angel. I knew it was you," she reached out to touch the Jedi's hand.

"Rue?" Bastila asked softly.

"I hoped you'd remember me," the Twi'lek grinned, displaying a mouthful of caffa-stained teeth. "I had a feeling you'd be coming here soon."

"And why's that?" Canderous growled, intruding on the conversation.

"To see her mother of course," Rue replied. "She may have fired me the moment Til here left for Dantooine, but I still check up on Helena. Mostly because your father, may he rest in peace, asked me to if anything should happen to him."

"My mother is here?" Bastila asked, doing little to suppress the shock in her voice.

"You didn't know? Til, then I feel I must tell you. Your mother, she," she paused as her expression darkened.

"What?" Bastila asked frantically. "What is it?"

"She's dying."

Penn looked to Bastila, but her face was emotionless - surprising for someone who just learned their own mother was dying. "Where is she?" he asked, jumping in on the conversation.

"The cantina, drinking away what little money she has, as usual," Rue took a dig at the woman. "Til, I've got to go my angel, but stay in touch, yeah?" The Twi'lek hugged a shell shocked Bastila before boarding a nearby ship bound for Talravin.

"Penn," Bastila said softly, looking at the ground as she spoke. "I hate to distract from the mission for personal matters, but -"

"We can head over to the cantina now," Penn interrupted, mercifully answering Bastila's question before she asked.

"_Uh-uh_," Canderous stepped back, shaking his head. "There's no way in _hell_ I'm goin' to see the original version of our little princess. I'll be at the lodge," he pointed to an advertisement featuring half-dressed women and mugs overflowing with amber-hued juma juice. "When you two are done with your little mommy-daughter reunion, come get me."

Without another word, Canderous left Penn and Bastila alone for the first time since their rendezvous. After a moment of awkward silence, Penn spoke. "Come on. Let's go find her."

He began walking in the direction of the cantina, Bastila following behind. As they walked, the quiet became unbearable. "Penn, I'm sorry about what happened."

"Do you mean just now or from before?" he asked as he continued walking, not bothering to look behind.

"Both," she answered clumsily. "I feel the need to explain. Stop," she grabbed his arm, halting his long strides just a few meters shy of the cantina, forcing him to turn and face her. Immediately, Bastila regretted the decision. The hurt in his kind brown eyes broke her heart - knowing she was the one who put it there shattered it. Everything she had planned to say escaped her mind as the two stood in silence.

"Babe?" Penn asked in a throaty tone, trying to understand why she'd suddenly become so quiet.

"Right," she recovered. "I'll start off with what's easiest to discuss - my family. My father was a good man. Honest, hardworking, loyal to a fault, exactly what you'd want your father to be. My mother, on the other hand, is a cold woman, quick to cut others down with her words and trample their -" Bastila stopped once more. "And I'm just like her," she whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Bastila shook her head, trying to recover from the realization that she had become exactly like the woman she loathed as a child. "Where was I? Oh yes. Well, when my father was younger, he started to amass wealth from all of his hard work. When he met my mother, she put on a front, pretending she was as kind and gentle as he."

"Go on," Penn nudged.

"Nine months after they met, _I_ was born," Bastila said quietly, almost as if she was ashamed. "My father and I got along amazingly well. He was my best friend," she smiled faintly. "The day I said goodbye to him when I left for Dantooine was one of the hardest days of my life. I-I never saw him again."

"I'm sorry, babe." Penn rested his hand on the crook of Bastila's neck before realizing how intimate the touch was. He quickly pulled his hand away and cleared his throat. "And your mother?"

"Oh, well, the day I left for Dantooine was also the happiest day of my life to that point. It's when I said goodbye to her and never looked back. The only time I heard from her during my childhood was when she sent a message to my master's datapad asking him to tell me my father died on one of those _damn_ treasure hunting expeditions she sent him on," she stated, her tone growing steadily louder as she spoke.

"I had no idea," Penn said softly. Based on the way she acted, most of the crew assumed Bastila had been born into money, never having a true struggle in her life. Learning how difficult and painful her life before the Order had been was surprising, but made sense of why she clung to the Jedi code so fiercely. It was all she had in life.

"How could you?" Bastila shrugged. "It doesn't matter now. She squandered what little money she had left and has been asking me to send her credits ever since."

"Do you?" Penn knew the question crossed the line of propriety, but asked regardless.

"Of course," Bastila whispered. "She's my mother."

Penn hadn't expected this softness from the woman standing before him. Seeing the more human side of Bastila made him fall a little harder for her. "We should go find her," he said as he turned.

"Wait," Bastila grabbed his arm before she could stop herself. "There's something more."

"Do you have a sibling?" Penn asked, expecting to hear more about Bastila's family life.

"No," Bastila shook her head. "Just me. But that wasn't what I wanted to discuss. I wanted to discuss the-the, Force, what would you call it?"

"The _incident_," Penn said sarcastically, trying to lighten the moment.

"Yes, the _incident_," she paused, her cheeks beginning to blush. "I feel I must apologize. I -"

"Don't," he interrupted.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't apologize. I'm not sorry about what happened and I know you're not either."

"How could you possibly know what I'm thinking or feeling?" Bastila huffed.

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?" he repeated slowly, looking directly into her eyes as he did so. "You said I don't know what you're feeling, but I know I'm right about this. I just need to hear you say it."

"Penn, this is hardly appropriate," she said quietly, averting her eyes from him.

"Answer the question, babe. Say no and I swear I'll never bring it up again."

The sound of her rapidly beating heart pounding in her ear was deafening as a battle between Bastila's heart and mind raged deep within her being. Finally, one emerged victorious. "Yes," she whispered. "I love you."

A boyish smile flashed across Penn's lips before he wiped it off, making sure not to embarrass her. "You already know where I stand," he said in a low voice.

"Penn, just because I love you and you love me doesn't mean we can be together," Bastila said in a shaky voice. "I'll admit, you're right, I'm _not_ sorry for kissing you - it was more than I ever could've dreamed of, but just because something feels right doesn't always mean it is."

"Is that the code talking or you?"

Before Bastila could answer, a heavily intoxicated man walked up to her and pointed at her chest. "Whoa! I just saw someone who looked _just like you_ in the cantina," he slurred. "What a _schutta_. You look nicer though. Younger. Cleaner. Better rack." Having had more than his fair share of liquid courage, he grabbed Bastila's face, planting a sloppy kiss on her lips before she angrily shoved him away.

Instinctively, she reached for her lightsaber to defend herself before Penn stepped between she and the man. "You wanna fight me for her?" The man raised his fists at Penn, barely able to keep himself upright.

"Go home," Penn instructed, using the Force to help persuade the belligerent man.

"Today's your lucky day mister, because _I'm_ gonna go home," he slurred, a bit of drool dribbling down his chin. "If you ever want to find out what it's like to be with a _real_ man, you know where to find me," he winked at Bastila before stumbling away.

The two stood in silence as they watched the drunk walk away before passing out beneath a ronto's hindquarters. "Thank you for stopping me," Bastila said quietly, to which Penn simply nodded. "We should go to the cantina. We can't afford to waste any more time." Without another word, the two walked into the cantina to meet Bastila's mother and face her past.

_**A/N**__ - Thank you for reading! Hope you're enjoying my interpretation of Knights of the Old Republic thus far._

_I wanted to give everyone a heads up that I probably won't be able to upload the next chapter at its usual time (long-distance traveling is the worst), so I apologize in advance. However, I am hoping to have it up sometime next week. If you like the story so far, be sure to be on the lookout or use FFN's handy follow option to have the update sent to you._

_Also, I've enjoyed reading all of your reviews and have taken them into account when writing (I've actually rewritten certain parts of the story based on reviews, so keep 'em coming!) - if you have any feedback, comments, suggestions, concerns, etc., I'd love to hear from you! Every bit of feedback helps, no matter how small. Thanks again._


	10. Chapter 10 - Defense

The cantina was dark and cold, a stark contrast from the impossibly sunny and hot surface of Tatooine. Unlike the Upper City Cantina on Taris, this cantina barely had anyone in it. Several patrons milled about with drinks in hand, but for the most part, the room was quiet.

"Bartender!" a woman with an accent similar to Bastila's called out. Penn could tell her heart shaped face had been quite beautiful at one point in her life, but hard living and drinking had faded her once good looks. The woman's light brown hair was pulled back in a tight bun, however a few strands of ragged grey hair poked out, making her appear to be more haggard than she actually was. Large bags lined beneath her cloudy blue eyes. A yellowish-brown stain marked her tunic - a momento from a night of drinking too much no doubt. She looked quite frail, as if she hadn't eaten a proper meal in several days. In short, she was a mess.

"Bartender," the woman cried out once more, the desperation in her voice evident, as she slammed her fist down on the counter, rattling a row of empty glasses lined up next to her. "I want a Corellian on the rocks," she begged the Bith behind the counter.

"Do _not_ serve her," Bastila said loudly as she began walking to the woman.

"And who the hell do you think you are, telling me what I can and cannot - Bastila," the woman stopped, her angry voice softening. "Bastila is that you?" She stretched out her hands, hoping to touch Bastila's face before Bastila slapped them away. "Still a little schutta I see," the woman snarled.

Sensing Bastila's need for support, Penn began to walk closer to the women. "Helena, you're drunk," Bastila sighed. "Have you been using the credits I sent you on -"

"Bastila, I'm your mother and you will address me as such. And do stand up straight. Your posture is horrid. It's no wonder you haven't found a man to put up with you. A pretty face will only take you so far," her mother criticized, only stopping her verbal assault when she glanced at Penn. "Who are you?"

"Penn. Penn Thayer. I'm a friend of Bastila," he said, trying to keep the anger brewing inside of him at bay. Seeing the woman he loved taking an emotional beating like this was beyond upsetting.

"_Huh_," her mother looked Penn up and down. "You look like you know your way around a bedroom. Maybe you could assist my dear daughter in loosening up? Force knows she needs someone to give her a good fu-"

"Helena, that's _enough!_" Bastila interjected. In the split second since Helena's comment, her face had reddened considerably - Penn wasn't sure whether the blush was the product of anger or embarrassment. "We're leaving." Bastila rushed for the door before her mother called out.

"You're going to treat your dying mother like this? I guess you're a lot more like me than you thought."

The comment made Bastila stop. With her back still turned to her mother, she clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white and her short nails dug into her palms, forming a row of crescent-shaped trenches. "Are you really sick or is this just another one of your desperate ploys for attention?"

"It's obvious that you don't care, but it's true. I'm dying, Bastila. The doctors back on Talravin said I only have about two months left."

"Then why are you here?" Bastila edged closer to her mother.

"This is where your father died. I believe he may have left a holocron of his here. I came here to find it, but -"

"But you wound up at the cantina as you always do," she interrupted, her tone icy.

"I want to hear his voice one last time," Helena barked, rising from her stool to stand on unsteady legs. "You're not the only one who loved him, Bastila Ayn."

As Bastila's eyes took on a misty haze, Penn stepped in. "Where's the holocron?"

"Hell if I know," Helena turned her attention back to her now empty glass, circling her finger around its cracked rim. "I heard rumors of an old rusted holocron somewhere in the dunes, but I can't get by the Czerka guards. And even if I could, I doubt I could find it out there. It's a giant expanse of nothing."

"I'll find it," Penn promised, much to Bastila's surprise.

"Good luck with that," Helena snorted. "Finding that holocron will be about as simple as getting that one to get the stick out of her ass," she motioned to Bastila.

"We're leaving. Goodbye, mother," Bastila pulled at Penn's arm as she began to walk away, but he didn't move.

"Helena, with all due respect, I need to say something." The woman before him had gone much too far for him to stay silent.

"Penn," Bastila said softly, trying to get him to leave.

"Getting to know your daughter over these past few months has been nothing short of an honor. If you just took a minute to get to know her instead of cutting her down, you'd see what an incredible person she is. She's smart and funny and beautiful - probably the greatest person I've ever known. Maybe you should try to get past your differences and get to know her before it's too late."

Before Helena could retort, Penn grabbed Bastila's hand and walked out of the cantina. The moment the two stepped outside, Canderous approached. "Took you two long enough," he snorted as he fiddled with his pant zipper. "What's wrong with you guys? Lovers' spat?" It wasn't until now that Penn realized he was still holding a glassy-eyed Bastila's hand - he quickly released it.

"We need to find a way to get out to the dunes," Penn stated. "I think what we're looking for might be out there."

"Well, while you two were sorting out _Til's_ family drama, _I_ was doing work." He flashed a small green pass card bearing the Czerka logo in front of the two. "I ran into a girl I knew way back when in the lodge. She works for Czerka now. Says she got a family, but I knew her in her wilder days. Boy, did I _know_ her," he chuckled.

"Anyways, I took her to the back room and reminded her that Mandalorians aren't just good in battle." Bastila wrinkled her nose at the crude innuendo, but kept quiet, allowing Canderous to continue. "My _brand of persuasion_ convinced her to give us one of these hunting licenses so we could go out there. It's in your name, slim. Just flash it to the guard and we should be all set."

"Good work, Canderous," Penn smiled as he took the pass card, subtly wiping it on his pants as he was unsure of where it had been.

"Just proving that one good Mandalorian is worth several Jedi," he gloated. "Well, except for Revan of course - that one had the heart of a Mandalorian in him," Canderous's voice began to trail as if he were daydreaming.

"Do you and the dark lord need a moment?" Penn asked in a low voice, his tone drenched in sarcasm. The joke earned an gruff chuckle from Canderous and wide eyes from Bastila. Only she understood how embarrassed the Mandalorian would be if he ever learned Revan was standing right in front of him.

"_Nah_, just respecting an incredible warrior," he shook his head. "Oh, one last thing. My Czerka _friend_ said we might want to pick up a translation droid if we're going to go near Sand People territories. She thinks there might be one at the junk shop by the gate," Canderous motioned to a shop not far away as he began walking in its direction.

As Penn and Bastila followed, Penn looked to the Jedi. "Hey," he whispered. "Are you alright?" The dry lump that had settled in her throat forbade her from answering, so she merely nodded, forcing a weak smile as he ushered her inside the junk shop.

Much like the cantina, the shop was dark and cold. The floor was littered with a combination of sand and various droid parts however, the single warehouse-like room seemed abandoned. "You've got customers," Canderous barked.

"Hold on, hold on," a deep, gravelly voice called out in an annoyed tone. Seconds later, a tall, broad-shouldered and impossibly muscular twenty-something man walked out from behind a mountain of junk, wiping his greasy hands on his tan pants before scratching his jet black buzz cut hair, his green eyes fixed upon Bastila. "Not everyday a beauty like you comes into this shop," he smirked, doing little to hide the fact that he was mentally undressing her. "Anything - and I mean _anything_ - I can help you out with, darlin'?"

Obviously in shock from the man's brazen flirtation, Bastila blushed and attempted to push some words out of her throat, but failed miserably. With narrowed eyes, Penn opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when Canderous spoke.

"Kelborn?" he asked in disbelief.

"Canderous?" Kelborn matched the Mandalorian's confused tone, managing to peel his eyes away from Bastila.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Canderous laughed heartily as he grabbed the man's arm in a traditional Mandalorian greeting.

"You two know each other?" Penn asked as he moved closer to Bastila, shielding her from Kelborn's lustful eyes.

"Kelborn was a sergeant in the War," Canderous answered. "One of the best Mandalorians I've ever known. Damn good warrior too. Took out an entire squad of Republic troops with a well-timed grenade toss. For being young, the man's already a living legend. Why are you on this hell-hole?"

"Eh, heard a rumor about Mandalore's mask being somewhere in the dunes a couple months back, so I decided to check it out," Kelborn answered. "Turned out to be nothing, but I ran out of credits, so here I am," he motioned to the shop. "Just a few more weeks of working for the Hutts and I'll have enough to buy passage outta here."

"Damn," Canderous shook his head. "What I'd give to find that mask and reunite the clan…" As his voice drifted, Bastila cleared her throat loudly to bring his attention back to the present.

"How can I help you, beautiful?" Kelborn shifted his gaze back to Bastila. "Your scrawny friend here not servicing you right?" he tilted his head in Penn's direction.

"We're looking for a translation droid," Penn answered sharply, suddenly feeling protective of Bastila and growing tired of Kelborn's mechanic-related innuendos.

"That's the only one we've got," he motioned to a tall rust-colored droid in the corner. "HK-47. Claims to know a couple thousand languages. I wouldn't recommend him though. I'm not a fan. Whoever programmed him must've been a prick."

Wondering what he meant, Penn stepped toward the droid, expertly tiptoeing over the piles of junk, before flipping a switch on the droid, allowing it to hum to life. "Query: Would you like me to kill anything for you, Master? _Master?_ That was odd."

"The hell?" Kelborn's nostrils flared as he walked toward Penn and the droid. "The bucket of bolts always calls me -"

"Statement: You are _still_ a meatbag, Mandalorian," HK-47 interrupted.

A sly smile found its way to Penn's lips. "I like him already. How much?"

"Four thousand. _But_ for twenty minutes in the back room with your gorgeous friend, I'd consider a hefty discount."

Although credits were tight and he knew Bastila would never even consider the proposition, Penn couldn't take it anymore - the more Kelborn flirted, the faster the seed of jealousy in his mind grew. "Here's four thousand," he pulled a stack of credits out of his sack and shoved it into Kelborn's stomach. "Let's go."

"Uh oh," Canderous chuckled as Kelborn unhooked the inhibitor attached to HK's neck. "Looks like _someone's_ a little jealous." The jealousy was also readily apparent to Bastila, not only through his actions, but also through their Force bond. Strangely, the bit of jealousy was endearing, making her heart race. "But Penn," Canderous cleared his throat, taking on a more serious tone. "I think I'm gonna stay here for a bit to discuss Mandalore's mask with Kelborn if you don't mind."

"N-"

"Fine by me," Penn's voice overpowered Bastila's. "See you soon."

A wave of worry crashed over Bastila. Besides HK-47, she and Penn would be virtually alone and unsupervised for several nights. As strange as it sounded, she wanted Canderous there as a buffer. Knowing the cantankerous Mandalorian was there ensured absolutely_ nothing_ would happen between the she and Penn.

The notion of laying beside Penn sent a surge of heat into her chest that slowly settled into her stomach as the three made their way to the Czerka guard and headed out to the dunes.

_A/N - Thank you for your patience, reviews and support! Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. Kelborn's appearance on Tatooine isn't canon, but provides a bit of insight as to the direction I'm hoping to take this fic. Plus, I just really enjoyed his character in KOTOR II - very underused in my opinion._

_Also, huge shout out to JL01 for the recommendation. If you're one of the few people not reading JL01's fic "Torn", you should check it out - I'm hopelessly hooked._

_Until next time._


	11. Chapter 11 - The Tent

_A/N - The fic itself is rated T, but if this chapter was a standalone, it would warrant an M rating. Although it's not terribly graphic, the situation is mature. I wanted to give everyone a fair warning before delving into the chapter. _

_And, as always, thank you for your continued support, reviews and PMs!_

_oo-oo_

The dunes of Tatooine were just as treacherous as the Anchorhead locals made them out to be. Between the constant barrage of Sand People attacks and sweltering heat of the three suns, Penn and Bastila were exhausted, while HK-47 was on the verge of overheating, by dusk. As the third and final sun began to set, Penn suggested the trio set up camp for the night, a suggestion that was heartily welcomed.

Once they found a suitable dune on which to spend the night, Penn pitched the old, ragged crimson tent they'd found on the Hawk while Bastila built a small fire. Since HK was hellbent on killing any "meatbags" that may come near his new master, it was decided that he would stand watch throughout the night while Penn and Bastila rested.

After a few moments of awkwardness, Penn and Bastila situated themselves in the small tent - he laid nearest the entrance while she took the opposite end. Despite being exhausted from the day's travels, neither could sleep. Both laid on their backs, silently staring at the tent's low-hanging ceiling.

Just as Penn drifted into sleep, the sound of HK firing his blaster, followed by a loud squeal in the distance, riled him. In a single swift move, he grabbed his lightsaber, ignited the green blade and rolled to his side, readying himself for a fight.

"Irritated statement: Eliminating dune creatures does not bring about the same satisfaction as eliminating meatbags."

With a slight chuckle, Penn disengaged his lightsaber and laid back down. "That droid is _insane,_" he whispered to Bastila.

"Yes," Bastila replied, her voice distant. It was obvious that her mind was far beyond the confines of the tent. Ever since the moment they'd parted ways with Canderous, she'd been mentally repeating the Jedi code over and over again in an attempt to calm herself. It always seemed to work until she caught a glimpse of Penn out of the corner of her eye, withering what little resolve she'd built up, trapping her in an endless cycle. Hearing him speak or laugh made things that much worse - the simple sound of his voice made all the tension in her body disappear. It wasn't that it felt wrong - it actually felt quite good - but that wasn't the problem. The problem came with the thoughts that followed. She'd been trying to combat them all day, but the more she fought, the more they slipped through her defenses.

Through the faint moonlight poking through a rip in the tent's fabric, Penn could see the troubled look on her face. He _hated_ that look and wanted nothing more than to replace it with the smile that made his heart jump into his throat. Penn turned to his side, propping himself up on his elbow to get a better look at her. "Babe, are you alright?"

_No._ The thought of answering honestly cropped into her mind, but she shooed it away. After a moment of silence, Bastila turned her head to look at him before wrinkling her nose. "Do you _ever_ wear a shirt?" she asked, obviously avoiding his question.

"No. It's hot," he reasoned. "How are you wearing that robe of yours? That thing looks _thick_."

"It's comfortable," she replied in a matter-of-fact tone, running her small hands along the dark blue fabric of her sleeping robe. "Besides, we can't all have the pleasure of sleeping half naked," she smirked before immediately regretting it. Even she could hear the flirtation in her tone - surely he'd pick up on it as well. Although she was a Jedi, she was still human. Still a woman. Laying just a few feet from the man she loved and not acting upon her impulses was far more difficult than many of the trials she'd been through.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it, _darling_," Penn teased in an equally flirtatious tone, making light of the annoyance that was Kelborn. Honestly, he was somewhat embarrassed by his display of jealousy earlier in the day, but he couldn't help it. Kelborn was a legendary warrior, highly esteemed among his people. Bastila was a famed and impossibly beautiful Jedi. He, on the other hand, was a simple Republic scout turned Jedi Padawan by matter of circumstance. It's not that he wasn't confident in himself - quite the contrary - but Bastila was in a league of her own, however, hearing the bit of flirtation in her tone reminded him that _somehow_ she'd fallen for him.

A moment after he stopped speaking, something struck Penn's cheek. "_Ouch,_" he rubbed his face before picking up a smooth stone that hadn't been on the ground a few seconds ago. "Did you just throw a rock at me?" he laughed.

"_No,_" Bastila smiled, obviously lying, before reminding herself of the mission. Of what was at stake. That she had just flirted with Revan. _Revan_ - quite possibly the greatest Jedi, Sith and strategic mind in a thousand years. Yet as she listened to the sound of his laughter filling the tent, she couldn't help but join in. Something about hearing his laugh made her stomach tighten in an unfamiliar yet pleasing way. When all the titles and accolades were stripped away, he was just a man and she was just a woman, a thought that made her want him that much more.

Finally, the laughter stopped, leaving an unsaid longing for one another. Sensing a shift in the room's atmosphere, Bastila looked down and moved to her knees as she cleared her throat. "I never got a chance to apologize for my mother. I'm sorry that you had to see that."

"No need to apologize, babe," Penn shrugged with his free shoulder.

"No, it's necessary. It's probably wrong of me to be embarrassed of her, but sometimes," Bastila paused, taking a deep breath, "sometimes it's hard not to be."

"I understand. I, uh," he stopped for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. "I don't know anything about my family, but I'm sure if I knew my mother, she'd embarrass me to some degree too," he smiled weakly, disguising the bit of pain brought on by discussing his family - or lack thereof. Although he blamed the crash for most of his memory loss, he wasn't sure he'd ever known who they were or if he'd ever had one, a fact that had been grating at his mind for months. "That's what moms do sometimes, right?"

After a few moments of silence, Bastila spoke again. "Also, I never had a chance to thank you for what you said about me. It-it was very kind of you," she said softly, struggling to find the words to properly express just how much it truly meant to her.

Penn shifted in the dark, reached into his sack for a small torchlight and lit it, bathing the tent in a muted golden hue. "That's better," he said as he shifted back to his original position. "Not like either of us are actually sleeping. But you're welcome - meant every word. I'm just sorry things didn't go as well as you'd hoped."

Hearing the honesty in his tone sent a warmth through Bastila that radiated within her entire being. A beat later, Bastila spoke once more. "Also, I wanted to apologize for what she said about you. It was rude."

"What? About me knowing my way around a bedroom?" he chuckled. "Not a big deal."

Biting her lip, she looked to Penn. "How ma-" Bastila stopped, shaking her head. "Nevermind," she muttered as she smoothed her blankets haphazardly in an attempt to occupy her hands. "Forget it. Stupid."

"_What?_" Penn flashed a half smile, shifting slightly on his side.

"It's nothing. It's ridiculous. Goodnight."

"You want to know how many women I've slept with," Penn stated as if he knew exactly what Bastila was thinking. In actuality, he was just taking a guess, however, when she stopped fiddling with her blanket and turned her reddened face in his direction, he knew he was right. "Was that your question?"

Bastila nodded, looking toward the ground as she did so. She could sense this was getting out of hand, yet she didn't want to stop.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Just a question. Now let's see," he furrowed his brow, searching for a proper way to answer the question. "I don't remember anything before the Endar Spire, so I'm honestly not sure. If I had to guess, I'd say three, maybe four. That's pretty average, right?"

As he spoke, Bastila's eyes wandered to his datapad that had slipped out of his sack and onto the tent floor. Curiosity took over. "What about in your dreams?" she asked quietly, knowing that his dreams were actually flashbacks to who he was before.

"Uh," he rubbed the back of his neck, knowing his answer would probably earn a scolding from Bastila. "At least fifteen."

_"Fifteen? At least?"_ Bastila's eyes widened, clearly in shock. "At the same time?"

_"No,"_ Penn roared with laughter. "Well, I mean, there've been several in one dream, but it's not like it matters. They're just stupid dreams. What about you?" His question was met with silence as Bastila began tracing her finger in the sand. "There's no need to be shy," he smiled. "I'm not going to tell anyone on the crew. Or the Council. Or anyone for that matter. Just you and me."

Though he didn't know too much about the personal lives of Jedi, he knew many, if not most, weren't celibate. Jedi were forbidden from love and attachments, _not_ sexual encounters. Hell, even though they weren't Jedi anymore, even he'd heard stories of Revan and Malak's promiscuity.

"Alright," Penn grunted as he lifted himself into a seated position. "Let's try this way. Over or under: fifteen?"

"Under," Bastila said softly.

"That's_ probably_ a good thing," he smiled. "Ten. Over or under?"

"Under."

"Five?"

"Under."

"Three?"

"Under," she replied once more, her trembling voice showing her nervousness.

"One?" Penn asked softly, instantly regretting submitting her to this line of questioning as he could sense her embarrassment. Instead of replying, Bastila merely stayed quiet, unable to meet his gaze as she shook her head. "Not a big deal," Penn tried to hide his surprise. "Sex is overrated," he lied.

Still, Bastila hung her head low. After a moment, Penn crawled over to her before sitting directly in front of her, mirroring her pose. "May I?" he motioned to her hair.

"Yes," she nodded, still averting her eyes.

Penn leaned in, planting a soft kiss on her cheek before loosening her hair from her trademark style he'd grown to like. Her brown hair fell in loose yet neat waves, grazing her collarbone. "Hey, look at me," he whispered as he moved his hand to cup her cheek. Once she looked at him, he continued. "I'm sorry about this - I'm an ass, but you already knew that." His self-deprecation brought a slight smile to her face as he continued on, his voice taking on a serious tone. "But you have absolutely no reason to be embarrassed. You just haven't met anyone special enough for you."

"You shouldn't place me on some pedestal," she chided softly, barely recognizing she'd started rubbing her hand along his chest. "I'm far from special."

"I'd care to disagree," a fleeting half smile crossed his lips as he glanced at her hand on his chest, then looked back into her eyes. "You're as close to perfect as I've ever seen."

"I'm not," Bastila shook her head. "Perfection means you've stopped pushing yourself. I'm not perfect, nor would I ever want to be."

"Then what do you want?" Penn asked quietly.

The answer to the question was abundantly clear to Bastila. What - or rather whom - she wanted was just before her, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. As her heart began to beat faster, she took a deep breath, finding herself at a loss for words. Although she couldn't speak, she moved a hand to touch his cheek lovingly and looked directly into his eyes, wordlessly answering his question.

The attraction they'd been trying to ignore took over. Before either could stop themselves, both slowly moved their faces to a central meeting point, giving the other ample time to back away. Neither did. Finally, after lingering just a breath apart, their lips met. Unlike the frantic kisses of their first encounter, this kiss was slow, deliberate and far deeper. Despite the dryness of Tatooine, Bastila's lips were soft and warm - each touch of her lips sent Penn's mind to the races. There was no place in the galaxy he'd rather be than this old, ripped up tent somewhere in the middle of the desert.

The feeling of Bastila's skin prickling beneath his fingertips spurred Penn on as he carefully moved his hand to her robe's center seam.

He paused for a moment, allowing Bastila time to push his hand away, but she didn't. Instead, she angled her face slightly, trying to explore his lips further. Penn traced his finger down her robe's seam, lightly grazing her chest's smooth skin as he moved down her body. When he reached the knot holding it together, he slowly untied it, giving her plenty of time to push him away. Still, she didn't. The robe's flaps slipped to either side, covering her breasts, but revealing that she was wearing nothing but a pair of undergarments on her bottom half.

He carefully moved his hand to her shoulder before giving the robe a slight push on one side to reveal her breast. Then, he repeated the motion on the opposite side - the robe slid down her arms, exposing her bare upper half.

As the robe fell to the ground, Bastila stopped kissing him. Between the rising conflict in her mind and the nervousness of being nearly naked with Penn, she wasn't sure she could go on. As her breathing quickened and her heart raced, Penn leaned over and gently kissed her shoulder. "I love you," he whispered. The simple yet forbidden words sent a rush of heat into her chest, allowing her to release her inhibitions. Somehow, the Jedi code and the mission seemed so far away. Just once - just this once - she didn't want to be the "strong one". She wanted his skin on hers. His lips on hers. His arms holding her tight.

Right now, she was just a woman with her lover, a position that was surprisingly satisfying. It felt more natural than anything she'd ever experienced in her life.

"I love you," she whispered before bringing his lips back to her own and kissing him once more. As their kiss deepened, Bastila felt Penn's hand moving down her body - after a moment of hesitation, he pushed her undergarment to the side, slid his fingers up and began to explore an area of herself she'd never allowed herself to think of. As he worked, she heard herself involuntarily breathing soft, feminine coos into his mouth, yet to her surprise, she wasn't remotely embarrassed. She suspected the feeling of his lips forming into smile as they pressed against hers had something to do with her comfort.

When the moment was most intense and a brilliant white light shone beneath her closed eyelids, she gasped, then spoke in a voice slightly louder than before. "I love you, Re-"

Her eyelids flew open in horror, stopping her short. Penn's fingers stopped moving as he too opened his eyes. "What?" he asked in confusion, his lips still brushing against hers.

Bastila was suddenly aware of how she'd let her guard down, putting the mission - and the fate of the galaxy - in serious jeopardy. "I can't do this," she whispered, shoving his hand still between her legs away. "The Council was wrong. I'm not strong enough for this."

Immediately, she shot up, hitting her head on the tent's ceiling, nearly bringing the structure down. "Wait," Penn said as he grabbed her hips, squaring them in front of him. "Babe, who were you going to call me?"

"Nothing. No one," Bastila lied. "I just need to stop."

"Why do you _always_ do this?" Penn asked, releasing her as she straightened out her undergarment. "Have you ever _once_ thought that you can be happy?"

"I don't deserve to be happy," Bastila barked. Tears began to well in her eyes as Penn fell silent. "I don't deserve it. I'm a miserable excuse for a Jedi - I can't even keep myself from single handedly ruining one of the most important missions in history by allowing my feelings for _you_ to cloud my judgement."

"What harm is this going to do?" Penn raised his voice, motioning to her as she struggled to put her robe on. "What is the Council going to do if they find out that you fell in love with and _Force-forbid_ slept with another Jedi? Or Padawan. Or whatever I am."

"I've already fallen for you," Bastila said as tears streamed down her face. "I've already gone too far. I need to distance myself from this whole thing. From _you_. You're bad for me," her voice trailed, regretting the words the instant they crossed her lips. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do.

"So that's all this is?" he snorted, choking back a laugh and the sting of her words as he shook his head. "Just another mission? I'm just some _stepping stone_ on your path to becoming a Master?"

"That's not fair."

"So maybe I'll get you wet a couple more times and then you'll move on with your life? Is that it?" It wasn't what he meant to say, especially in that crude of a context, but the pain of what she'd said was a knife to the heart.

"Watch your mouth, _Penn Thayer,_" Bastila raised her voice defensively, wiping away tears rolling down her cheek.

"Babe," Penn ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. "You make something that's so simple so damn complicated. I want you just as much as you want me. Why can't you -" As he paused to collect his thoughts and lower his voice, a hitch caught in Bastila's throat. She knew he was talking about far more than just having sex. He wanted her. _All_ of her, a notion she hadn't truly considered until that moment. The realization made pushing him away that much more painful. Her heart ached. "Maybe-maybe I'm just going about this all wrong. Maybe I just should've given you space."

"Irritated query: Master, would you like me to eliminate the female meatbag?" HK's metallic voice called out from just outside the tent.

"No," Penn answered, keeping his eyes fixed upon Bastila. "We were just going to bed." He quickly turned off the torchlight before crouching back to his side of the tent and laying down. Bastila followed suit, situating herself in her original space. Penn forced himself to fall asleep to avoid dealing with the inevitable conversation that would take place if the two stayed awake, although, sleep provided little rest thanks to his dreams.

The desert was completely still, however, Bastila couldn't sleep. After what seemed like hours of pondering all that had taken place that evening, she silently crawled to Penn. For a moment, she focused on his face - it was difficult to see in the dim light, but she knew he was fast asleep. Unable to stop herself, she gently ran her fingers across the scar marking his lips - the same lips she'd kiss for hours on end if given the opportunity.

As she recalled the day he'd earned the scar sparring at the Enclave years ago, she felt him stir beneath her fingertips, forcing her to stay completely still. A few seconds and a couple of missed heartbeats later, she knew she was in the clear - he'd always been a heavy sleeper. The thought made her smile as she leaned over, lightly kissing the hollow of his neck before resting her head on his warm chest. As she listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat, she whispered what she said each night since she saved him months ago. "Goodnight, Revan."


	12. Chapter 12 - Focus

"Who programmed that _damn_ droid of yours?" a dark-haired man complained, rubbing his hand along his chiseled jawline as he entered the room. "If I ever meet them, I'll snap their neck," he threatened as he took a seat at the opposite end of the long, silver table.

"I happen to like that droid, Squint," he replied, keeping his eyes fixed upon the countless papers scattered across the table as he shuffled through, searching for the one he needed. "Why don't you like him?"

"_It._ Not he, it. _It_ keeps calling me a stupid nickname, kind of like you do, but even more annoying," Squint griped, arms crossed. "It's getting on my last nerve." The sound of laughter filled the air as Squint glared at him. "Exactly what part of this is funny to you?"

"All of it," he laughed. "_He_ only calls you that, but maybe I'll tweak _his_ programming so he calls everyone that because it's pretty damn funny."

"It's not _funny_ when he calls you that in the middle of an important holovid call with the Republic higher-ups," he snarled. "I'm trying to get respect for -"

"Oh, it'll be fine," he interrupted with a reassuring smile. "You need to lighten up, _meatbag."_

_"Meatb-"_ Squint snorted angrily. "You put that stupid droid up to it, didn't you? I _swear,_ one day I'm going to melt that droid into scrap and then I'm going to kill y-" The sound of HK firing his blaster woke Penn, cutting his dream short. When he opened his eyes, he was blinded by the brilliant sunlight poking through every seam and rip of the tent's fabric.

He lifted his head off the ground slightly before thinking better of it, softly groaning as he laid it back down and closed his eyes. As he laid, he felt a small weight on his chest. Thinking it was nothing more than a dune creature, he reached down to brush it off, but heard a feminine moan when he touched the form. Penn opened his eyes and looked down his body to see Bastila, still fast asleep, resting on his chest.

_"Dammit,"_ he whispered before running his hand along his face. After last night, he wasn't sure how to react. One part of him wanted to wake Bastila and tell her to stay the hell away. The other wanted to forget about the fight, kiss her, strip down and finish what they'd started. Neither seemed like a good choice, so he remained still, racking his brain for a more feasible third option.

Instead, a pang of guilt crept into his mind - he'd said quite a few things he probably shouldn't have, but Bastila wasn't innocent either. The evening was perfect - and undoubtedly would've ended with making love for the first time - if not for her calling out someone else's name. Or rather, the _beginning_ of someone's name. That detail hurt more than he'd like to admit. The fact that he was being was pushed away on account of an ancient code he doubted many Jedi followed as closely as she was equally painful. And, _'you're bad for me'?_ What the hell did that even mean?

As he laid lost in thought, he extended his arm, being careful not to wake Bastila, and reached into his sack. He wrapped his fingers around his canteen and pulled it out, inadvertently spilling the contents of the bag on the floor. The commotion made Bastila stir, but she stayed asleep, softly groaning his name as she shifted on his chest. _"Why couldn't you remember it last night?"_ he whispered bitterly before taking a sip of his lukewarm caffa.

"Query: Ah, what have we here? An unsuspecting meatbag," HK said just outside the tent. "This should be fun."

The _'translation'_ droid's words fell heavy on Penn's ears. Unsuspecting? "HK, no!" he yelled as he pushed Bastila off his chest and rushed out of the tent, arriving just in time to knock HK off his balance as he fired. Although Penn's shove diverted the shot that would've drilled through the head of the green Twi'lek in the distance, the man collapsed, disappearing into the dunes. "Dammit," Penn muttered as he began running toward the fallen traveler.

A string of curses that surely would've made Bastila blush left the Twi'lek's mouth as Penn approached. The Twi'lek's back was turned, but when he heard a stranger nearing, he spun around quickly, yelping in pain as he moved, and pointed his blaster at a defenseless Penn. "This is your fault!" he wailed, pointing at the blood seeping out of his leg with his free hand.

"I know," Penn nodded, raising his hands skyward in an attempt to show the man he meant no harm. "I'm sorry, but I can help you. My, uh," he paused, not quite sure what to call Bastila. Chaperone? That didn't seem right - too juvenile. Lover? Despite what happened just a few hours prior, Bastila may've slapped him for allowing the word 'lover' cross his mind. Honestly, he wasn't sure he'd even like to think of her in that capacity right now.

"Your _what?"_ the Twi'lek interrupted his internal struggle.

_"Friend,"_ he recovered. "My friend can help heal you. She's good with that sort of thing." Penn extended his hand to the Twi'lek, hoping to help him up and off the scalding hot sand, not only for the man's good, but also for his own. In his haste, he'd forgone shoes, a decision he was sorely regretting as the soles of his feet began to tingle.

"You're not working with Kale, are you?" the Twi'lek asked through narrowed eyes.

"I've got no idea who the hell that is," Penn answered, the agitation in his voice growing as his toes began to curl in pain. "Just let me help you."

After a few agonizing moments, the Twi'lek stowed his blaster in the holster resting at his hip, stretched out his arm and grabbed Penn's hand with his sweaty palms. Once he lifted him up, Penn slung the man's arm atop his shoulders, taking on the majority of his weight, and began walking back to the tent.

"What's your name?" Penn asked, trying to distract himself from the blistering flesh of his feet.

"Fortuna. Komad Fortuna. Expert treasure hunter and part time Czerka employee. You?"

"Penn _Thayer,"_ he answered, grunting as Komad stepped on his already tender foot. "Republic scout." Introducing himself as a Jedi still felt strange and unnatural, so he chose not to.

"Thayer?" Komad's eyes widened. "You're Kelborn's friend."

"I wouldn't exactly call us friends, but yeah," Penn nodded. "How'd you know that?"

"He sent me out here. Well, sort of."

"Sort of?" Penn narrowed his eyes, waiting for an explanation.

"I _may've_ overheard him and another Mandalorian talking in the cantina about a man named Thayer and a cute little brunette looking for a machine in the desert. I found one a few years back in a cave, but I haven't been able to get back to it because a damn krayt dragon decided to make that cave her burrow." The Twi'lek paused his story as Penn set him down on a piece of junk that had functioned as a chair the night before.

"Hold that thought." Though he was technically leader of the mission, he wanted Bastila's input on the man's impending plea for help. "I'll be right back," Penn promised as he rushed into the tent. "Hey, I - babe?" To his surprise and horror, Bastila was huddled on the tent floor, clutching her arm with all her might. Although he couldn't see its source due to the long sleeves of her sleeping robe, a steady trickle of blood was snaking down her hand and dripping into the sand. All the hurt and anger from the night before vanished as he darted to her. "Babe, what happened?" he asked as he moved to remove her robe.

"Don't do that," Bastila yelped, shoving him away with her foot. "I don't have much on underneath this. It wouldn't be proper."

"I _think_ we're past that point after last night," Penn reminded her, regretting the statement the instant she shot him a look of embarrassment and anger. "_Force,_ that's not what I meant," he exhaled. He turned and fumbled through his sack, searching for an extra shirt he'd packed. Once he found it, he unfolded it and sliced off the sleeves with the dagger on the floor. "Put this on," he handed her the shirt and turned around before she asked.

With his back turned, he listened as she struggled with the robe. "So what happened?" he asked, taking advantage of the lull by slipping on his boots.

"Nothing," she lied. "I was clumsy."

"What happened?" Penn reiterated firmly, turning around to face her just as he pulled the shirt over her midriff. The sight of her in his clothing was, quite honestly, a bit of a turn on, though the thought of admitting that to her was out of the question. The plain tan shirt was loose and barely showed her enviable figure, however, the rips in the sleeves were low and wide enough to reveal the sides of her bare breasts and rib cage.

Seemingly unaware of his wandering eyes, Bastila's expression softened, alerting him that he was about to receive the true story. "When you pushed me off your chest, I fell on top of the dagger that had slipped out of your sack," she said softly. "I tried to heal myself, but I couldn't."

"Force," he shook his head, the pain of knowing her injury was his fault eating him up inside. "I'm so sorry. I wish I knew how to heal you. Zhar never taught me how."

_"I_ can try to teach you," Bastila replied sheepishly. "Place your hands on my arm."

Being careful not to hurt her further, Penn gently touched the gash before pulling his hands away at the sight of her wincing in pain. "Sorry."

"It's fine," she shook her head before grabbing his hands and placing them back on her arm. The feel of her hands on his sent a rush of heat into his chest. It was obvious she felt the same sensation when she pulled away, cleared her throat and closed her eyes. "Close your eyes," she instructed. "Allow the Force to run through you." The two sat in silence - Penn channeled all his focus into healing her, yet nothing happened.

"I don't think this is working," he exhaled, angry with himself for failing her. "I'm sorry I -"

"An old friend told me that if you have a connection with the person you're trying to heal, recalling a fond memory and focusing on it helps," Bastila offered. "That's what I do with you," she said softly, a blush creeping into her cheeks. "Try again."

Although he didn't want to, he was willing to try again for her sake. Penn glanced at her once more before closing his eyes and searching for a fond memory to focus on. For a few moments, he wondered what memory she could've been focusing on when she healed him on Taris. They'd had absolutely _no_ fond memories at that point. _"Focus,"_ he jerked his mind back to the present situation.

Try as he might, all he could think of was the sight of her flawless skin and subtle curves from the night before. The unbridled excitement in her eyes. The taste of her lips. The feel of her - _"Get it together, Penn,"_ he reminded himself mentally, closing his eyes tighter in an attempt to concentrate on a memory where she was fully clothed.

As he focused, he felt the Force running through his fingertips and exiting his body. He delved deeper into his mind to continue the healing when something _strange_ happened. A short flash of something that _hadn't_ happened crossed his mind - he was behind her, guiding her hands as she constructed a lightsaber. In the fleeting glance out of the corner of his eye, he could tell she was younger, possibly a teenager. It was obvious that she was trying - and failing miserably - to wipe a nervous grin off her face. Then, a sharp pain burned in his head, ending the vision.

_"Frack!"_ he yelled out, pushing away from her in pain. The excruciating pain was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. It was as if someone had taken a white-hot dagger and jammed it into his temple, yet at the same time, it was almost _calming._

"What is it?" Bastila opened her eyes. "You haven't finished the healing. You were doing so well."

"I can't do this," he shook his head. "It's too much."

"Is this some sort of sick payback for what happened last night?" she narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not _that_ much of an asshole, but thanks for the vote of confidence," he snarled, still reeling from the stinging pain. "I just can't do this," he said as he ripped the leftover sleeves of his shirt into strips of cloth to wrap her arm with. He didn't want to tell her about the strange flash - at least, not now. Even_ she_ would think it was insane and he knew it.

"Penn, you _need_ to learn to rely on the Force," Bastila said through gritted teeth as he dressed her wound. Whether she was gritting her teeth in anger or pain was unclear, but Penn didn't stop wrapping her arm. "The Force and the code is all you have, Penn. Remember that. When everyone else fails you, it never will."

"It's _not_ all I have," Penn shot back. "I'm not going to go through life expecting everyone to screw up and walk out on me."

"Well that may be true for you, but the code is all_ I_ have in life," she raised her voice, a bit of venom in her tone.

"It's not all you have," he matched the volume at which she spoke. "You have -"

"Stop," she screamed. "I don't want to hear it."

"You may not _want_ to hear it, you _need_ to," he growled as he shook his head, unable to stop himself. "You have people who love you and aren't going to abandon you. Despite what you might think, I know your mother loves you. Carth loves you. Mission loves you. The whole crew loves you._ I_ love you. You've got so much more than just the damn code."

"Love is forbidden," she stated in a calm yet shaky voice, a stark contrast to the loud voice she used before. "The code says -"

"To hell with the code," he interrupted. "What's so wrong about love?"

"It - it -"

"Do you think it's wrong_ just_ because the Jedi code told you so? You keep pushing everyone who cares about you away on account of that stupid code but don't even know why."

"Shut up," she yelled to no avail, her eyes taking on a glassy haze.

"Have you ever stopped to think that _maybe_ it's ok if you make your own decisions and stop living your life based on some bantha shit a couple of Force users got together and wrote based on how _they_ thought people like us should live?" The instant he stopped speaking, Bastila slapped him, her expression unreadable as her cheeks flushed. As crazy as it sounded, for a moment he _swore_ she was going to kiss him before restraining herself.

Both stared at the other in silence for several moments before Penn finally spoke. "HK shot some Twi'lek," he said quietly, conceding he'd pushed her too hard. Admittedly, he hadn't planned on saying as much as he had, but once the floodgates opened, they were nearly impossible to close. "I don't have enough credits to pay him for his trouble, so I promised him you'd heal him."

"That's fine," Bastila replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just give me a moment."

Penn nodded and turned to leave before he stopped - if he didn't say what was on the tip of his tongue, he knew he'd regret it. With his back still turned to her, he spoke in a low voice. "I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I'm not giving up on this that easily. I'm not giving up on _you_ that easily." Although he didn't specify what he meant what he meant, he knew it was abundantly clear. Deep down, he knew she wanted to be loved and believed in love. Fighting the urge to turn and see her reaction, he kept moving forward, grabbing his shirt along the way and scooted out if the tent to speak with Komad.

"I heard yelling. What happened in there?" the Twi'lek pried.

"Nothing," Penn shrugged him off. "She'll be out to help you in a second." The two sat in silence for several moments as Penn fastened a few buttons of his old scout uniform shirt and rolled up the sleeves on account of the heat. Finally, Bastila came out of the tent and rushed for Komad, intentionally turning her back to Penn. In the split second he saw her face, he could see her eyes were red and puffy, as was her nose. His heart dropped even he saw her, but his focus was broken by Komad's voice.

"Now that we're all here, can we get back to my proposition?" Komad asked, a bit of impatience in his voice.

_"Go for it,"_ Penn motioned at him, doing little to hide the involuntary roll of his eyes. At this point, he couldn't care less what the Twi'lek had to say.

"Great," Komad clapped his hands together before stealing a glance at Bastila's hand on his injured thigh. "You're quite pretty," he smiled at her.

"Focus," Penn barked. In all honesty, he couldn't fault Komad. Even though she'd obviously been crying, she still looked stunning. Bastila had put on a pair of dark brown pants and tucked the long cutoff shirt into them. If not for her Jedi-exclusive boots and the lightsaber resting on her hips, she would've passed as just another treasure hunter.

"Sorry, sorry," he raised his hands. "Not trying to intrude on your girl, just offering a simple compliment. I'm a nice guy. You know, I was once told that I -"

"Suggestion," HK interrupted. "Master, allow me to eliminate this meatbag. No one will _ever_ know."

"Make it quick, Komad," Penn urged him, fearing for the Twi'lek's safety and growing more impatient by the second.

"Alright, alright. Since you folks are looking for the machine I've seen in there and I want some of the treasure that's in the cave," he motioned to a rock formation in the distance, "I say we work together and split what's in there, let's say, oh, 70-30? All you have to do is kill the krayt dragon. Easy enough, right? Whaddya say?"

_"Just_ kill a krayt dragon?" Penn snorted. It was obvious that he and Bastila weren't from these parts, but he wasn't stupid. Killing a krayt dragon was no small feat.

"And what if the machine that's in there isn't the one we're looking for?" Bastila asked in a small, nasally voice, cementing Penn's hunch that she'd been crying. "What exactly would we find that would be of any use to us?"

"Dunno," Komad shrugged. "The last hunter who went in died a long time ago. Heard he found quite a bit in there but went back one too many times because he was greedy bastard. Old timers in Anchorhead said he was a real nice guy though. Jax - maybe Juniper - Shan? Something like that. I know it started with a 'J'."

Shock took over - Bastila's hands began to shake and her jaw began to quiver. "Shan?" Penn jumped in, trying to hide his own surprise. "You're absolutely sure?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "The details are a bit fuzzy, but I know his last name was Shan. Jet? Jef? Jedd? J-"

_"Jasper,"_ Bastila interrupted breathlessly. "When can we leave?"

"The sooner the better," Komad answered.

"We can pack up the camp later," she said softly, wiping her nose with the side of her hand. "Let's go." Without a moment's hesitation, she began walking into the dunes and in the direction Komad pointed out earlier.

"Your friend looks good from behind too," Komad whispered, elbowing Penn in the arm with a smile as he watched her walk before him. Apparently Bastila heard the comment - suddenly, Komad's feet kicked out from beneath him, sending him to his back. "That was odd," he dusted off his bottom as he pushed himself off the sand, looking around for what may've tripped him.

Despite the rush of emotions, Penn couldn't help but smile. Sometimes living with the Force really _did_ have its advantages.

_A/N - Thanks for reading! Just a few quick notes..._

_First, I'm going to try my best to stay on schedule and update the fic regularly, but the chapters' growing length as well as life, friends, etc., sometimes make it difficult. Second, thanks for not ripping my head off after the last chapter. I was a tad concerned just because it's so far off canon, but you guys were awesome and supportive, as always! And finally, thanks for all your reviews, PMs and the like. You've all given me fantastic ideas that I'm working on implementing into the fic._


	13. Chapter 13 - Hunted

Although only two of Tatooine's three suns had risen, it was impossibly bright and hot. Waves of heat radiated off the dunes as Penn, Bastila, HK-47 and Komad neared a reddish-brown rock formation.

"It's gonna be a hot one," Komad chuckled as he walked along, wiping the sweat streaming off his lekku. When neither Penn nor Bastila paid him any mind, he cleared his throat and went on. "So which one of you is going to lure the krayt dragon out of her cave?"

"I am," Penn and Bastila answered in unison. Hearing the other's voice, the two looked at each other in confusion. "I will," Penn stated firmly, looking at Bastila as he did so, wordlessly telling her he wouldn't back down on his decision. "What do I need to do?"

"Just set these charges by sticking them into the sand," Komad paused as he reached into his sack to pull out three long explosive sticks and handed them to Penn. "Then, you'll need to figure out a way to get that little demon outta the cave. Usually, it'd be pretty simple - all you'd have to do is get a bantha or two out there and the smell would lure her out, but I don't see any around," he said as he scanned the area, shielding his eyes with his clammy hands, "so you'll have to improvise."

"Fair enough," he replied curtly, signaling the conversation's end. As the four walked in silence - save for Komad's incessant humming - Bastila subtly slowed her pace to walk near Penn. Up until that point, she'd been walking ahead.

"Penn, you're not doing this alone," she said softly. "I can help you." Neither had spoken since their fight, so the soft, friendly tone with which she spoke was surprising.

"Thanks for the offer, but no thanks," he said with a weak smile before adding his reasoning. "You mean too much to me - I'm not willing to risk losing you." Bastila curled her lips inward and tilted her head to the side, obviously touched by his concern. "Look," Penn stopped walking and lightly grabbed her hand, halting her as well. "Babe. About what happened yesterday and this morning -"

"Wait," Bastila interrupted. "I need to say something first." She paused, taking a deep breath before speaking once again. "I'm -"

"Ah, young love," Komad intruded upon the tender moment, resting one hand on Penn's shoulder and the other on Bastila's. "I'd like to introduce you both to the love of _my_ life and the object of my affections for the past few years: Rubella Spel ra Tem," he smiled as he turned their attention to the cave just ahead. "In my language, that means -"

"Red Cave of Death," Penn interrupted, shocking Komad with his knowledge of the Twi'lek language. "I know. Where do I set the charges?" he asked hastily, wanting to get the whole ordeal over with.

"There, there and there," Komad replied as he pointed to imaginary marker points in the sand. "Once you set all of 'em, all you have to do is get the dragon out of her cave and have her walk over the charges. The old girl's blind, but staying outta sight's a good idea. Then, once she's out, we wait and hope my plan works."

"And if it doesn't?" Bastila asked through narrowed eyes.

"Well then you and I run while the dragon picks your boyfriend outta her teeth," Komad burst into laughter, genuinely finding his dark sense of humor funny. Neither Penn nor Bastila laughed - apparently, HK didn't find the Twi'lek's humor appealing either.

"Irritated query: Master, may I dispose of this useless meatbag?" HK pleaded after a moment of silence. "Think of it as a service to the meatbags of Tatooine."

"No," Penn shook his head before looking back at Bastila, the fear in her eyes apparent. "I'll be alright," he whispered to her as he leaned in and kissed her forehead. It was a bold move seeing as neither had formally apologized, but he wanted to let her know how much he still cared on the off-chance something should happen to him. He felt her shiver beneath his lips, but turned to walk toward the cave to set the charges before he saw her expression.

As the three watched Penn walk away, Bastila edged closer to Komad who smiled wide at the sight of her. "Your boyfriend's not even dead and you're making a move?" he chuckled. "Bold girl. Komad likes bold."

Doing little to hide her annoyance, Bastila leaned in and whispered in his ear. "If _anything_ happens to him, you'll be praying for that dragon to hunt you down before I do." The Twi'lek's eyes widened as he gulped in fear. For the first time since their meeting, he wished Bastila would step further away from him, but she didn't, choosing to stay near, much to his chagrin. Holding her breath as he went, Bastila looked on as Penn finished setting the last of the three charges and edged closer to the cave and the dragon.

Not having another way to lure the dragon out, Penn ignited his lightsaber. He took a deep breath and slashed at the one part of the dragon poking out of the cave - its long, impossibly thick beige and maroon tail. A sickening cry of pain and anger echoed in the cave as the beast spun around to see who dared to disturb her slumber.

Although the creature was blind, Penn wasn't about to take any chances - he darted to the side and hid behind a jagged boulder near the cave's mouth. From the safety of his hiding spot, he looked on as the dragon stepped out of the cave and into the light. She was massive - more massive than even Komad had anticipated. Beneath her waxy scales of beige, maroon and black was a layer of thick grey skin, rippling with muscle and caked with soot. Small clouds of sand puffed into the air as she stepped out, her curved talons digging into the ground, sending grains flying into Penn's eyes, hair and clothing.

The dragon roared loudly, flecks of saliva spewing from her mouth as she stepped forward and onto the first charge. She screeched in pain as the explosion ripped a hole in her underbelly. In a fit of rage and pain, the dragon whipped her tail to the side, connecting with the rock Penn was hiding behind, reducing it to a pile of rubble. The sheer force of the blow sent him flying onto his back and knocked his lightsaber from his hands.

"_Oklamah_ _tesh_!" Komad swore aloud. He turned to run, only to be jerked back by Bastila grabbing his lekku.

"You know what to do. Help him," she commanded. The thought of losing Penn sent her into a panic. It was far more than just the thought of losing Revan and any chance they had of finding the Star Forge. At this point, she didn't care about any of that - it was the thought of losing _him_, the man she'd fallen in love with, that was unbearable.

"No," Komad shook his head violently, freeing his head-tail from her grip. "He's as good as dead."

A fire ignited in Bastila's heart as she glanced between Penn and Komad as he backed away. "HK, shoot him if he tries to run."

"Statement: I'm beginning to like you, female meatbag." Bastila didn't hear the droid's approval of her brashness - she was already halfway across the space between she and Penn, sprinting to the dragon. What she was going to do was unclear even to her, but she knew she had to save him - if nothing else, she was willing to die trying.

From his vantage point amongst the rubble, Penn couldn't see Bastila rushing to help him - his eyes were focused on the dragon's snout sniffing just above his body. He held his breath and stayed perfectly still, knowing that if he moved, he'd be swallowed whole. Drips of the beast's saliva cascaded onto him as she opened her mouth - Penn took a deep breath and closed his eyes, knowing this was the end. Then suddenly, something riled the dragon, gaining her attention.

Her roar was deafening, yet Penn swore he could faintly hear Bastila's voice through the ringing of his ears. "Over here! Over here!" Sensing the shadow that was the dragon disappearing, Penn opened his eyes and lifted his head slightly to see Bastila running near. "Over here!" she yelled as she heaved a rough stone at the beast.

"Bastila, stop!" Penn yelled, knowing full well his volume would draw the dragon back to him and, quite possibly, be his undoing. "Stop!" He grabbed a splintered rock from beside him and chucked it at the dragon, but it was no use - her attention was hopelessly fixed on Bastila.

"There you go," Bastila smiled as she slashed her lightsaber's blades across the sand, creating a row of sparks. "That's it," she yelled. "Follow me, girl." The dragon's pace quickened as she sensed the sparks' heat traveling through the sand - she charged at Bastila, who in turn sprinted for the second charge, dragging her lightsaber along the ground as she went.

Bastila tiptoed around the charge, being careful not to set it off before running past it and taking cover behind a small rock formation. The creature's underbelly dragged along the second charge, further wounding its stomach. It cried out in pain before dropping to its side, crushing Bastila's hiding place as she writhed in pain. After a few twitches of her legs and moans of pain, the dragon took her last breath.

Worry crashed over Penn as he rushed to Bastila - several moments had passed and there was still no sight of her. "Babe?" he yelled as he ran. "Bastila?!" His heart began to pound as he ran faster than he'd ever run, praying that she'd survived. After what seemed like an eternity, Bastila's head popped up from behind the dragon's snout.

"I'm alright," she coughed. Her hair was mussed and she was covered in sand and a smattering of blood, but he didn't care - he was just the same. Penn bounded over the dragon's snout and crashed into her, pressing his lips against hers before pulling away and looking into her eyes. It was obvious she was shocked by the display of affection - her eyes were wide and her cheeks were growing more red by the second.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Penn asked, keeping his hands firmly on either side of her face as he inspected her, making sure she was alright.

"What did it look like?" she said softly. "Saving you."

"Don't do that again," he shook his head.

"A simple 'thank you' would suffice," she narrowed her eyes.

"I don't want you getting hurt because of me." Although he knew she'd been in dangerous situations before they'd met and undoubtedly would be later in their journey, Penn didn't want to make this a habit.

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, _just_ _maybe_, I don't want to see you hurt either?" Bastila barked. "Don't you _dare_ tell me what I can and cannot do, _Penn_ _Thayer_. Just-just get the hell away from me," she slapped his hands off her cheeks.

From the way she said his name and the fact that she'd sworn, Penn knew Bastila was furious, but he wasn't in the mood to apologize. He wasn't angry, merely afraid. The moment of seeing Bastila in harm's way on his account was something he vowed he would _never_ allow to happen again. The growing tension was interrupted by Komad's laughter.

"I knew I could count on you two," he smiled as he approached, rubbing his hands together greedily. "Now, it's lootin' time!" Instead of walking to the cave, he stepped toward the dragon, dagger in hand. Penn and Bastila looked on in horror as he carved another hole in the beast's underbelly and reached inside, the majority of his arm disappearing into the dragon.

"Come on," Penn said quietly, glancing at Bastila through the corner of his eye. "Let's go get that holocron." HK joined the two as they walked to the cave, leaving Komad to sift through the krayt dragon's innards.

As they entered the cave, the trio was hit by a wall of stench - the dark cavern reeked of mildew and rotting flesh. Though light was scarce, a few rays of sunlight gleamed on the crystals poking out of the clay ground, casting rainbows of purples, greens, blues and yellows on the reddish cave walls. "Lightsaber crystals," Bastila whispered as she stooped down, plucking a brilliant violet gem from the ground. Penn watched for a few moments as she harvested the crystals when suddenly, a silver shimmer deeper in the cave caught his eye.

Seeing as Bastila was thoroughly distracted, Penn ventured off by himself to investigate the glint. As he edged closer, the source came into view - a small, silver box was wrapped in the hands of a half-eaten skeleton. Figuring this might be Bastila's father, he quickened his pace - he wanted to get the holocron and leave before she saw Jasper like this.

Avoiding the gnawed-at skeletal remains to the best of his abilities, Penn loosened the fingers' grip - accidentally breaking off two or three in the process - before finally freeing the box. He looked it over, trying to find some indication that this was indeed Bastila's father's holocron when he found a few small scratchings on the otherwise smooth surface. 'Shan'. With a deep exhale, Penn looked at the skeleton once more before turning to find Bastila. When he returned to the spot he left her, she was gone.

"Babe?" he called out, his voice echoing in the expanse.

"Over here," she replied from a small nook. Following the sound of her voice, Penn jogged over, grateful that she'd chosen to go in this direction instead of the one where her father's skeleton lay. He rounded the corner to find Bastila on her hands and knees, huddled over a machine. "Damn. Thing. Won't. Open," she grunted angrily, struggling in vain to pull the machine's arms open.

"Huh," Penn narrowed his eyes as he stepped closer to assist her. "I thought the last one just -" Suddenly, the machine began to hum. The arms Bastila had been struggling with unfolded to reveal yet another map. The two looked on in silence as the greenish-gold map rotated in midair. Finally, Penn spoke. "I think you might want this," he said softly, handing her the holocron.

Bastila accepted the dusty holocron skeptically, not quite sure what it was. After slowly inspecting it, she found her surname etched into it, just as Penn had. "_Father_," she whispered, her eyes watering. "Thank you," she looked to Penn lovingly. "I don't think you'll ever know how much this means to me."

"I should be thanking you," he smiled as stepped closer, closing the bit of distance between their bodies. "And apologizing for everything. I'm so sorry. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do."

"I'm sorry too," Bastila sighed as she placed her hand on his cheek. Penn moved her hand from his face and brought it to his lips, kissing it lightly before releasing it. The action brought a smile to her face but a twinge of sadness stabbed at her heart remembering the last time he'd done that years ago. "I know I'm very attached to the code - more so than most Jedi - but I have my reasons. The-the last time I -"

"What's takin' you kids so long?" Komad interrupted for the thousandth time that day, calling out as he waited at the mouth of the cave. "I was beginning to wonde-" the Twi'lek stopped mid sentence, his face contorting into an unnatural shape.

"Komad?" Penn carefully edged closer to the Twi'lek. Blood began trickling out of the treasure hunter's mouth as he stumbled forward. Penn rushed to him and caught Komad just before he fell flat on his face, revealing a hunting knife lodged in the back of his skull. The Twi'lek was beyond saving, so Penn laid him on the ground just as he took his final breath. Suddenly, a second knife sliced through the air, grazing Penn's cheek before embedding itself in the cave wall behind him. Though painful, he didn't have time to focus on the wound - they were under attack.

"Damn," a voice called out from the desert. "Thought I was gonna be two for two. Pickin' folks off with those knives is too easy sometimes." As Penn, Bastila and HK slowly stepped out of the cave to meet Komad's killer, a man stepped out from behind a speeder that hadn't been there when they entered the cave.

Even from the distance between them, Penn recognized the man. He wasn't terribly tall - he probably only had a few inches on Bastila - but made up for his small stature by being well-armed. Countless grenades bulged from the pockets of his worn blue trench coat. In his gloved hand, he held one blaster - the other modified pistol rested on his hip. "Calo?" Penn questioned in disbelief. "I thought you d-"

"Died back on Taris?" Calo completed Penn's question. "Nah. Takes a lot more than that to kill Calo Nord. But let's just skip all that and cut to the chase - some _very_ important people want you dead and I'm more than happy to help. The insane amounts of credits they're givin' me is just an added bonus."

"Look, Calo, let's talk about this," Penn attempted to negotiate with the bounty hunter. In the distance, he could see a second speeder approaching, kicking up a cloud of sand in its wake. Reinforcements no doubt. "I don't want to kill you."

"_You_? Kill _me_?" Calo laughed as he adjusted his goggles. "I'll give it to ya Thayer, that's one I've never heard. Kale, Anto, Qekk." Three equally well-armed men stepped out from behind a boulder near Calo. "Finish 'em," he snarled before walking back to the comfort of his speeder, confident his hired hands could handle the trio.

Instead of scattering and hiding behind rocks, Penn, Bastila and HK stood their ground, choosing to fight as a single, impenetrable unit. The droid stood behind the two Jedi, firing his blaster as Penn and Bastila deflected incoming bolts with their lightsabers. The skirmish moved quickly - Bastila's double-blade diverted a bolt back into the eye of its sender, killing him instantly. Penn cut down one of the henchmen trying to sneak from the side, while HK pumped another's body full of blaster bolts until it barely resembled its former self. Three lay dead.

Now, it was down to Calo.

Nord was famous for his grenades - their lightsabers would be of no use against the explosives. He'd have to be taken out in close combat. Breaking their formation, Penn began sprinting toward the bounty hunter, deflecting Calo's blaster fire with his lightsaber as he ran. As he drew closer, Calo began backing up and reaching into his trench coat for the grenades - Penn had to find a way to defend himself. _Fast_. Then, he saw it - the final charge meant for the krayt dragon lay untouched behind the bounty hunter. As Calo stretched his arm back in a throwing motion, Penn used the Force to push the bounty hunter back and onto the charge.

Between the charge itself and the hundreds of grenades stuffed in the bounty hunter's pockets, the explosion was massive and sent Penn flying backwards. As the smoke cleared, all that remained of Calo Nord rained on the desert - his now charred goggles, bits and pieces of his blasters and chunks of burning flesh. "Statement: That was quite enjoyable, master," HK said approvingly as he and Bastila ran toward Penn.

"Penn, are you alright?" Bastila asked frantically as she dropped to her knees to be beside him, running her hand along his bloody cheek.

"I'm fine," he nodded. "This isn't over yet," he motioned to the incoming speeder. Though Penn and Bastila were exhausted and HK was as exhausted as a droid could be, they prepared for the second wave.

"Statement: Time to kill more meatbags," HK stated with a hint of excitement in his voice as he angled his blaster rifle and opened fire on the speeder. The two figures in the speeder ducked, but kept approaching. Seeing as the speeder wasn't backing down, Penn twirled his lightsaber in his hands, readying for a fight when he heard a gruff voice yelling from the speeder.

"Stop that damn droid, you skinny bastard!"

"HK, stop," Penn commanded, recognizing the voice and the irreverence with which they spoke. The droid reluctantly ended his assault, allowing the speeder to draw closer, the extent of HK's handiwork becoming apparent - its windshield was riddled with spidery cracks and the speeder's orange body was covered in countless dents. "Canderous?" Penn called out.

"Yeah, who'd you think it was?" the Mandalorian yelled, popping his head up from the passenger seat. Penn couldn't help the roll of his eyes when Kelborn revealed himself to be the driver. "I heard Calo was lurkin' around Anchorhead, askin' about you for some reason, so I followed him out here, but it looks like you kids were able to handle him just fine. Guess he wasn't as tough as everyone thought," he added with a snort. "By the way, you look awful."

"_Thanks_," Penn laughed as he glanced at Bastila. Both were covered in sand, soot, sweat and blood yet somehow, she still looked flawless to him. "Mind if we hitch a ride?"

"Get in," Canderous nodded. On their way to the speeder, Penn and Bastila stripped Calo's speeder of its credits. By the time they arrived to claim their seats, HK had already situated himself in the back row, leaving little room for Penn and Bastila.

"There's plenty of room up here, darlin'," Kelborn smiled at Bastila, patting the bit of open space next to him. She wrinkled her nose at him before shaking her head, choosing instead to squeeze in the back with Penn and HK. "Suit yourself," he shrugged before turning around and speeding off to Anchorhead.

"Just three more maps," Penn whispered to Bastila as she rested against his chest, holding the holocron close. When she didn't answer, he glanced down to see she'd already fallen asleep, exhausted from the day's events. Smiling wide, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, knowing he'd be beyond content spending the rest of his life just like this.


	14. Chapter 14 - Contradictions

"Babe?" Penn said quietly, shaking Bastila gently. "Babe, wake up." After a moment, Bastila opened her eyes to find herself nestled against Penn's chest. Night had fallen upon Tatooine, yet even in the darkness, she could see a wet stain on his shirt near where her mouth had been.

"Oh Force," she gasped as she began patting down his shirt, her cheeks taking on a rosy hue. "I'm so sorry. Have I been like this the whole time? You must've been uncomfortable. You could've pushed me off - I wouldn't have been upset."

"Don't worry about it," he shrugged, seemingly unfazed by the whole thing. "I'm just glad you got some rest."

The speeder was at a standstill. The Mandalorians and HK were standing at the gates about fifty yards away while she and Penn sat in the darkness of the desert. "Why've we stopped?"

"They're talking to the Czerka guards to get back into Anchorhead," he replied. "We're out past the settlement curfew, so getting them to open the gates might take a bit of convincing. I thought this would be as good a time as any to wake you." Bastila nodded her thanks before stretching out her back.

Although she knew the entire group was grateful for the transport Kelborn and Canderous provided, she doubted anyone was quite as grateful as she. After what happened in the tent the night before - and the incredibly torrid dream about Penn she'd just had - she doubted she would be able to lay beside him another night without giving in to her desires.

They needed space - she felt herself growing more attached each day. Wanting more of him each day. Becoming closer each day. For goodness sake, the fact that she'd _drooled_ on him and he didn't seem to mind showed just how comfortable with one another they'd become. Bastila promised herself the instant she stepped foot on the ship, she'd be strong for the both of them, something she hadn't been for the past few days.

The promise brought on a sense of dread. Suddenly she didn't want to go back to the ship. _"It's for the best,"_ she reminded herself before mentally reciting the code in an attempt to calm herself. However, there was one positive of heading back to the Ebon Hawk - she'd finally have a chance to listen to her father's holocron. The thought of hearing her father's voice again filled her heart with joy, but as the minutes passed, she grew impatient. "What's taking them so long?"

Instead of answering, Penn wrapped his arm around Bastila and began rubbing his thumb along her bare shoulder. His touch was far more calming than the Jedi code had ever been. "You know," he cleared his throat. "Once we get back to the ship, we probably won't have much privacy."

"Yes," Bastila replied, doing little to hide the disappointment in her voice. Suddenly, she felt Penn's lips on her neck. "What - what are you doing?"

"Nothing," Penn lied as he moved up her neck, smiling at the involuntary shiver of her skin. Seeing as they were two people in love sitting side-by-side in the backseat of a speeder, showing a bit of affection felt natural.

"Penn," Bastila said breathily, trying to keep her composure despite the pleasure - a strange side effect of their Force bond was knowing exactly what the other enjoyed most without being told. "Penn, I'm filthy." Inspite of the grime covering her entire body, Penn kept his lips on her neck as he gently leaned forward, laying her flat on her back across the seats. Though she wanted to kiss back, Bastila resisted. "Penn, I need to talk to you."

"I'm listening," he said in a low voice as he moved to the opposite side of her neck.

"Penn, when we get to the ship, things are going to change. I know I'm just as guilty as you are, but we-we can't do this anymore. And we most definitely can't have a repeat of what happened in the tent. We need to foc-_oh Force,_" she whispered in a throaty tone as he began sucking the crook of her neck. "Penn-Penn, stop." Immediately, he pulled his lips away, giving her his undivided attention. "Penn, we can't do this. When we get on the ship -"

"I know," Penn nodded, sighing in exasperation as he lifted himself off of her and into a seated position. Though he knew the true reason why she'd stopped him, he wasn't willing to accept it. "We can't do this with the crew around."

"Exactly," Bastila agreed, conceding that his explanation seemed like a better excuse than the code. For reasons unknown, using the code as justification for putting off the intimacy they both wanted seemed ridiculous even to her, a notion that was beyond concerning to Bastila. For years, she'd placed the code on a pedestal, considering it to be an infallible truth, but over the past few days she found herself questioning it more and more, slowly chipping away at its revered place in her mind.

"Babe, would you mind if I asked you something?" Penn asked. "I just haven't been able to stop thinking about it."

"Of course not."

"Earlier in the cave, you were going to tell me something about why you're so attached to the code. What were you going to say?"

Suddenly, Bastila regretted ever broaching this topic during their mission, but knew she couldn't brush it off - knowing Penn, he'd never just let it go. "When," she paused for a moment, terrified to reveal one of her deepest hurts. "When I was younger I didn't always listen to the code as closely as I do now and I-I fell in love with someone."

It was the last thing Penn expected her to say. Try as he might, he couldn't help the look of shock that crossed his face. Even in the dark, Bastila noticed.

"It-it was silly," she stammered. "Probably nothing looking back, but I loved him nonetheless. During the War, he asked me to leave Dantooine with him, but I just _couldn't_. When he left, I was devastated. Absolutely heartbroken." Her voice trailed for a moment before she realized she couldn't leave the story on such a down note. "But, I suppose it worked out for the best," she recovered, trying to sound as casual as possible to disguise the pain. "I saw the error of my ways and threw myself into learning the ways of the Force and honing my battle meditation skill."

"So you follow the code so closely because you don't want to be hurt again," Penn said softly, filling in the blanks of Bastila's story. Hearing how deeply someone hurt her years ago tugged at a place in his heart he didn't even know was there.

"And because I believe in it, but that's part of it," she nodded. "Yes."

After a long pause, Penn wrapped his arm around her and worked up the courage to ask another question. "Did he love you back?"

"I-I don't know," Bastila replied in a small voice as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't even know if he heard me when I told him how I felt. He probably didn't though - hear me, I mean. Like I said, I don't know if he loved me, although that in itself was a long shot. He was a few years older. And he was popular, which I _definitely_ wasn't, but he treated me as an equal. With respect. As a _person_ instead of some freak who possessed the gift of battle meditation. It was the first time in my life anyone had treated me in that manner. He probably didn't think of me as anything but a stupid teenager with a silly crush, but he made me feel special for the first time."

"Where is he now?"

"He, ah," she paused, gulping down the dry lump in her throat. "He died in the Jedi Civil War."

Inside, Penn was dying to ask who her first love was - it sounded like he may've been another Jedi - but held back, choosing instead to offer a bit of comfort. "I'm sure he loved you too," Penn smiled. "I mean, how couldn't he?"

Bastila bit her lip and nodded, but stayed silent, feeling the wound she'd buried for years being uncovered and laid bare. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she wasn't sure she'd ever _stopped_ loving him. But she didn't have time to think about that right now - Canderous, Kelborn and HK were approaching.

"We're in," Canderous flashed a gruff smile before looking at Penn and Bastila's close proximity. "Did you give _Til_ the Jedi Princess here another hickey?" he teased, laughing heartily as he jumped into the driver's seat.

"Did you screw the gate attendant to get us into Anchorhead like you did to get the hunting license or were you able to negotiate with your pants on this time?" Penn smirked, turning the tables on Canderous for Bastila's sake. Learning Carth wasn't the only one who'd noticed the mark from her first encounter with Penn was mortifying. Laughing harder than he had before, Canderous flipped the speeder into gear and motored into Anchorhead. Once inside, the crew bid Kelborn farewell - which included a long kiss on Bastila's cheek courtesy of the Mandalorian - before heading back to the Ebon Hawk.

As the four walked up the ship's ramp, Bastila's joy was dampened by the realization that she had unfinished business to attend to - she slowed her steps before stopping altogether.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Penn asked as he too stopped, just a few paces shy of crossing the Ebon Hawk's threshold.

"I want to say goodbye to my mother one last time," Bastila said quietly, clutching the holocron a little tighter to her breast than before.

"Alright," Penn nodded. "I'll be on the ship if you need me." He turned to leave, not wanting to intrude on the highly personal moment, when Bastila spoke in a shaky voice, halting his steps.

"Will you come with me?" she asked sheepishly, looking at the holocron as she did so.

"If that's what you want."

"Yes. I-I want you there," she said softly, her cheeks reddening. It was far more than just needing support - though admittedly, she'd come to rely on him far more than she should. Having him there and allowing him to see the most private parts of her life - the parts she'd kept secret for so long - was her way of letting him into her heart. It was terrifying yet liberating.

The two turned and headed toward the cantina - as they walked, Bastila silently grabbed Penn's hand and held it tight, squeezing with all her might. Despite the tingling in his hand, Penn didn't pull away - he could sense the fear and anxiety in Bastila and wanted to give her support in any way she needed, even if it meant having the circulation in his hand cut off for the time being.

As the two approached the cantina, Bastila stopped just shy of the door. "I can't do this," she whispered, breathing heavily as her knees began to falter.

"Hey," Penn turned, still holding her hand as he moved her body in front of hers. "I know this is going to be hard, but there's not a doubt in my mind that you can do this," he assured her with a smile as he used his free hand to touch her chin, gently tilting it upwards. "I believe in you."

The confidence and honesty with which he spoke filled Bastila with warmth. As she looked into his eyes, she couldn't help but wonder why she was pushing him away - was the code _really_ worth stifling the love she felt for him? Though it contradicted everything she'd told him in the speeder, Bastila couldn't control herself any longer - she stepped to her tiptoes and planted a lingering kiss on Penn's lips, reasoning that one last kiss wouldn't hurt anything. Besides, she _technically_ hadn't stepped foot on the ship - she wasn't breaking her promise.

Ignoring the stabbing of the holocron against his ribs, Penn pressed closer, eliminating any space between their bodies as he ran his fingers through her hair. Drunken cantina patrons hooted and whistled as they walked by the two, but neither cared. All they cared about was holding the other close.

"I see you really _have_ been helping my daughter," a familiar voice cleared their throat just behind Bastila. _Helena._

Startled, Bastila pulled away from Penn, completely embarrassed. "Hele- I mean, mother," Bastila said nervously, frantically trying to fix her mussed hair with her free hand. "We were just coming to see you."

"I can see that," Helena said skeptically, looking Penn over as he dug the toe of his boot into the sand. "But it seems you took a wrong turn and ended up in his mouth," she added with a laugh.

Though the comment was somewhat tasteless, there was no venom in her tone. In the few days since they'd last seen Helena, something had changed. Instead of the disheveled hair and clouded eyes she sported during their first meeting, her hair was clean and pulled back in a neat style and her blue eyes were crystal clear. Her vomit stained tunic had been replaced by fresh, clean clothing. Unfortunately, she looked just as frail as before, if not more. "Bastila, before we get into the inevitable fight, I need to say something." The woman paused for a moment, walking within arms' distance of Bastila. "I'm sorry."

A look of shock and confusion crossed Bastila's face. There was no way she'd heard that right. "W-what?"

"I'm sorry, Bastila," Helena repeated herself. "Seeing you again made me realize just how hard and unfair I've been to you all these years. I was never the mother you deserved. Your _friend_ over here made me realize that I should cherish the little time I have left with you. Can you ever forgive me?"

A mixture of joy, relief and sadness rushed over Bastila as tears escaped her eyes. "I love you, mother," she said quietly as she nuzzled her face into Helena's neck, holding her tight. Love in any capacity was forbidden, yet it felt so natural. How could something so beautiful be so wrong? As she held her mother tight, a notion she'd never considered wandered into her head - what if there were no absolutes? What if everything wasn't wrong or right? Of the light side or the dark side? Black or white? What if there were shades of grey? And, if there were, what if love fell into that category?

"What's this?" Helena pushed her away slightly, feeling the same stabbing of the holocron Penn had felt moments before, snapping Bastila's attention back to the present.

"We - _Penn_ found father's holocron," Bastila smiled as she glanced at her tall, dark-haired companion. In that moment, Bastila realized she didn't need the holocron to remember her father - she didn't need it to be happy either. All she truly wanted was standing just a few paces away, flashing the half smile that made her go weak at the knees. The love she felt for him may be wrong, but it opened her eyes - she wasn't the only one who'd been hurting all these years. Helena had lost the one she loved and deserved closure - she deserved to heal. "I want you to have it."

Bastila pushed the box into her mother's hands. "But Bastila, are you -"

"Yes," Bastila interrupted. "You need this more than I do. Also," she paused for a moment to fumble through her sack before pulling out the stack of credits she'd salvaged from Calo's speeder. "Take this and go to Manaan. There are doctors there that may be able to help. Tell them I sent you. I'll come as soon as I can."

With tears in her eyes, Helena accepted the credits. "I love you," she whispered in Bastila's ear as she pulled her close. "I'm so proud to call you my daughter." The two embraced in silence for several moments before Bastila patted her mother on the back.

"I'm afraid I have to go, but send word as soon as you arrive on Manaan. I'll find you," she promised.

"Take care of my Bastila, will you?" Helena looked to Penn.

"I will," Penn promised with a smile.

Helena nodded her thanks before leaning in to whisper in her daughter's ear. "And take _care_ of him, will you? He's very cute. But dear, remember protection - better safe than pregnant, yeah?" Helena smiled, arching her brows as she pulled away from a suddenly red-faced Bastila. "Run along, Bastila. I'll see you soon."

After one last hug, Bastila and Penn began to walk back to the Ebon Hawk. As the two walked Penn lightly nudged Bastila. "You alright?"

"Yes," Bastila nodded as she lightly grasped his hand. "Thank you. For everything."

_A/N - Aaaand we're done with Tatooine! Hopefully you've all enjoyed this stretch of the fic. Just a few quick notes. I usually try to update biweekly, but in preparation for the next phase of the story (en route to Kashyyyk/the search for the Star Map), I probably won't post the next chapter until sometime next week._

_Some of you have mentioned that much of the narrative has been focusing on Bastila as of late (this chapter obviously being one of them), but don't worry! Other than the next chapter (which will have a very different feel than the others), most of the narrative will focus on Penn._

_And, as always, I've enjoyed reading all of your reviews - many of them have jumpstarted ideas for new story arcs. If you have any comments, suggestions, etc., I'd love to hear! I know I said it before, but I really do mean it - every bit of feedback is extremely helpful! _

_Thanks for reading!_


	15. Chapter 15 - Caffa

Blood caked her lips. Cuts lined her face. Deep bruises of purple and green laced her body. The pulsating pain in the joints of her right hand alerted her it may well be broken. But the time to focus on her physical pain was not now. Right now, she was limping to meet with the Council with a broken heart.

Her heart ached for the Jedi Knights and Republic soldiers she lost in their infiltration of Darth Revan's flagship. Three, maybe even four, of them would have survived if not for Darth Malak's betrayal of his master. Instead, she was the squad's lone survivor. But that wasn't the end of her heart ache - she'd nearly killed Revan, the man who at one point, had been her everything. Her closest friend. Her first kiss. Her first love - her only love and, despite all he'd done, the man she _still_ loved. All she wanted to do was be alone, to mourn the loss of everything she'd lost, but the Council had requested her presence and when the Council spoke, she listened.

Admittedly, at times the Council and the entire Jedi way of life was suffocating - she felt the life being slowly choked out of her - but she ignored her inner grumbling, accepting the fact that this was the way her life was meant to be.

With a deep breath, she entered the recovery room where they'd asked her to meet them - she'd been in this room several times, but something about it was _different_. It was darker than usual, save for a single heating lamp providing a bit of light and warmth. Every kolto tank was empty except for one - the one the Council was huddled around. Though she could tell someone was in the tank, she couldn't see who from this vantage point. None of the Jedi Masters seemed to notice her presence for a several minutes, so she stood silently, relishing in the moments of peace provided by being ignored. Finally, Master Vandar glanced over his shoulder.

"Knight Shan," Vandar smiled, welcoming her to the room. "Come here." Biting her lip in an attempt to fight the tears begging to be shed, Bastila approached the Council. As she edged closer, Master Vash shifted slightly, giving Bastila a clear view at the tank. A loud, involuntary gasp crossed her lips when she saw who was inside.

_Revan._

If not for the countless burns, gashes, bruises and obviously dislocated shoulder, she would've assumed him to be at peace. His dark hair floated freely, giving him a strangely ethereal look amongst the kolto bubbles. Although his body was broken, it was still, in her mind, a work of art. In her moments of weakness, Bastila had imagined what it might be like to see Revan completely nude, but this wasn't at all what she had in mind. As she watched him, every part of her begged to hate him, but she couldn't. Even after all these years, he still had a hold on her heart.

Suddenly, his body jerked violently.

"What's happening?" Bastila asked frantically, pushing past the Masters to place her hands against the tank. Then, she noticed many seemingly unnecessary tubes feeding a putrid green liquid into the tank. "There's something wrong with his tank. We need to -"

"There's nothing wrong with his tank," Master Vrook growled in his usual grouchy tone. "We're reprogramming his mind."

Reprogramming his mind? The thought made Bastila's skin crawl. "You're _what?"_

"We need to know what Malak is planning," Vash stated plainly, almost as if the fact a man's very essence was being changed wasn't unsettling in the slightest. "If we reprogram his mind to be loyal to the Republic, we can use him as a tool against his own army. We may be able to use his memories to find what he and Malak were planning to do."

They were changing the beautiful person she once knew - it was unbearable. "He's not a _tool,_ he's a _person!"_ Bastila cried out, unable to help herself.

"He's an _animal_," Vrook shot back. "A monster. A menace."

"It-it-it's unethical," she stammered, struggling to wrap her head around the fact that the Council was willing to do this to someone, much less a former Jedi. One of their own.

"You haven't earned the right to judge what may or may not be ethical, _Bastila,"_ Vrook barked, sending her into a state of shock. Referring to a Jedi - especially a Knight or Master - by anything other than their title and preferred name was a sign of disrespect or contempt. It was a personal attack. Suddenly, Revan's body writhed yet again - it was obvious he was in pain, yet all the Masters looked on with cold eyes, unsympathetic to his suffering. "You let the rest of your squad team die to save this pathetic excuse for a human being," he motioned at Revan.

"I did what I could," Bastila said through gritted teeth, trying to keep both her growing anger and tears threatening to fall at bay. "If I could have saved all of them, I would have, but this is _wrong._ You're taking away his mind, his thoughts, his memories, his -"

"His memories of _you,"_ Vrook interrupted, gaining the attention of several of the Masters.

"I'm not sure I unders-"

"You're in love with him," he accused. All the blood in Bastila's body ran cold. How could he know? Most people didn't even know she and Revan were _friends_, much less that she was in love with him. "Don't think your late night meetings went unnoticed," Vrook continued. "We all know about your feelings for him. You were never as discreet as you thought you were."

_"Vrook,"_ Master Ell shook his head, trying in vain to get his old friend to stop his verbal onslaught.

"Vandar thought of this mission as a trial for you - to help you learn to rely on the code and your Jedi training - but I _knew_ better," Vrook spat as Bastila's face went pale. "I knew you would put your own desires over the good of others. If I would've had my way, you'd still be a Padawan. You're nothing more than a selfish child and miserable excuse for a Jedi and now, the blood of six Jedi is on your hands because you wanted to save the monster you're in love with. _That_ is why we're forbidden from love, Bastila. Because of despicable choices like yours."

"You were _testing_ me?" Bastila shook her head in disbelief, choking back tears of being kicked while she was down.

_"Enough,"_ Master Vandar spoke, quieting the growing tension with his quiet strength. "The decision has already been made, Knight Shan. You will serve on a Republic ship - the Endar Spire. In six months time, you will request his presence as a member of your personal team. Then, you will keep an eye on him until he regains memories related to Malak's plans, but give him no reason to believe he's anything more than what we're making him."

"Do you think you're capable of handling that?" Vrook added coolly.

"Yes," Bastila said softly, incapable of fighting anymore. As she turned to leave, Bastila took one last look at Revan as he thrashed back and forth in the tank. With her back turned to the Masters and heading toward the door, Bastila allowed warm tears to roll down her cheeks.

"Knight Shan," Vandar called out once more, halting her progress. "Burn his belongings before you leave. From this point on, he is a Republic scout named Penn Thayer." Unable to speak, Bastila merely nodded and left to prepare for her new position on the Endar Spire…

Bastila woke to find her face was wet with tears.

After calming herself, she tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before finally rolling out of bed, reluctantly accepting that no sleep would be had tonight. As she tiptoed past Juhani and Mission, she heard the young Twi'lek speaking gibberish in her sleep - Bastila cautiously edged closer to see Mission's leg twitching and a cup of nearly finished caffa near her cot. Despite her heartache, Bastila couldn't help but smile. For the past few weeks, Penn had locked away his caffa grinds from Mission, insisting the drink was bad for her, but since she was nearly as good at security as he, she often cracked the lock and made herself a cup when she thought he wasn't looking.

After picking up the cup and readjusting Mission's covers, Bastila quietly left the dormitory, deciding to take advantage of the rare moment of privacy to sift through some of her personal items. Unlike most Jedi, Bastila was sentimental and kept almost everything that held any sort of value to her. After poking her head into the main hold just to ensure she was indeed alone, Bastila walked into the cargo hold and unlocked her plasteel cylinder in the corner of the room before picking up the item at the top. Her first lightsaber.

It was a single blade. The hilt was quite small - perfect for the hands of a child. Once Revan helped her build her current double-bladed lightsaber years ago, Bastila swore she'd never use another lightsaber, an oath she'd stayed true to. Running her hands along the rusted hilt with a smile, she set it aside before picking up the medal she'd received from the Republic for being part of the strike team that took Revan down. The same guilt she'd felt when she accepted the medal washed over her - no one but she and the Jedi Masters knew Revan was still clinging to life in a small recovery room far, far away on Dantooine.

As she reached deeper into the cylinder, pushing aside cards, papers and knick knacks she'd accumulated over the years, she pulled out a tiny portable hologram. Revan's. Though the Council had instructed her to destroy all of his belongings, something deep inside forbade her from doing so - instead, she hid it all away beneath her personal belongings, praying to the Force no one would ever find it. It was the first time she'd ever disobeyed the Council.

She opened it, allowing a small, bluish image to appear. It was Revan, albeit younger, smiling as he held a beautiful young brunette woman in his arms. Meetra Surik.

Although both she and Meetra were the same age and incredibly close to Revan in their own right, the two couldn't have been more different. While Bastila followed her head and the code, Meetra constantly followed her heart and challenged the code. They'd often butted heads, but secretly, Bastila always wished she'd been more like Meetra.

A deep sigh crossed Bastila's lips - she regretted never truly getting to know Meetra. For a moment, she wondered what happened to Meetra after being exiled. Even before her harsh treatment by the Council, Bastila had never agreed with the way Meetra was treated during her so-called trial. Although she was the only Jedi to return to speak for her actions, the Council already had their minds made up as to her guilt and treated her with little respect.

Bastila took a deep breath as she closed the hologram and reached for a copper mask resting atop black robes. Her slender fingers danced over the mask. It had been scalding hot and stained with blood when she'd pulled it away from an unconscious Revan during his capture. As she began to lift the mask higher, she heard the door creak open.

"Babe?" a groggy voice sounded from behind.

Panicked, Bastila quickly dropped the mask into the plasteel cylinder before turning around. "What is it?" she questioned, frantically searching his expression to ensure he hasn't seen anything. As usual, he was shirtless - his pants were low and showcased the alluring muscle that disappeared below his pantline. Honestly, Bastila wasn't sure if the heat on her face was a product of fear or arousal.

"What are you doing?" Penn asked as he stepped into the room.

"Nothing," she lied as she stuffed the hologram, old lightsaber and medal into the cylinder, slamming it shut. "Why are you awake?"

"This," he raised his datapad, shaking it slightly.

"Writing down another dream?"

"No, ah," Penn paused, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "You're probably going to think it's stupid, but I've been doing some research. I'm ah, I'm trying to find my family. You know, find out a little more about who I am, see if there are any other Thayers out there."

Guilt washed over Bastila as fresh tears welled in her eyes. Everything inside screamed for her to tell him that his search was futile - that he was Revan - but she remembered Vandar's words. "Have you - have you found anything?" she asked, hoping he hadn't noticed the catch in her voice.

"Nah," he shook his head. "Are you ok? You seem -"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Can you help me make caffa? I'm useless when it comes to that machine," she smiled nervously, trying to divert Penn's gaze from the cylinder.

He narrowed his eyes as he looked her up and down, trying to figure out why she was acting so strange. "Babe, you don't drink caffa," he reminded her. "What's going on?"

"You drink that foul liquid like your life depends on it, so I thought I might give it a try. See what all the fuss is about," she smiled as she walked to him, pushing on his chest to get him out of the room. "If it's important to you, it's important to me because -" Bastila stopped herself for a moment, before deciding to let her heart speak for her. He was more than deserving of her honesty. "Because I love you." When she met with the Council, she believed the man she loved was lost forever and taking a piece of her heart with him, never to be found again, but he'd never left. His mind may be different, but his heart was just the same.

Though he was beyond surprised by her unsolicited declaration of love, Penn kept his composure but couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips. "Well, in that case, I'll make you the best cup of all time."

_A/N - Admittedly, this chapter is a bit fluffier than usual, but I felt it was a good time to introduce what happened just after Revan's capture since it's never quite addressed in the game. Also, if you hadn't noticed, I'm not a big Vrook fan, which will come into play later in the fic. Thanks for your support, reviews and reading!_


End file.
